What he thinks when you don’t text him back

Know that feeling when you get a text from your crush, and you’re so excited to respond, but you can’t because of something else that comes up? 

They could be thinking any number of things, but the most common assumption is that they believe you have lost interest in them due to your behavior. 

Keep this from happening because it could result in a long string of deliberations about whether or not they should call or text them again. 

The simplest and most effective way to avoid this problem is to simply respond! Let’s take a look and discover if this is a good idea, or a disaster waiting to happen.

Why not texting him back can work or make things worse

What he thinks when you don’t text him back

Men are simple creatures. When we don’t get a text back, we’re usually not trying to be funny or clever and think, “hehe, I’m going to make her wait for my response,” like some kind of game that you can win or lose depending on what she does next.

We just want to talk or flirt with you. If we don’t, it’s because either there was no answer needed or the conversation naturally ended, and I didn’t feel like texting again. 

If he doesn’t text back within an hour, it’s probably because something came up, and I’d rather talk to you in person about whatever the topic is. 

Other reasons could be that we’re in opposite time zones or at a place where there’s no reception (like driving through mountains). And if for some reason this happens more than once, don’t think of him as “the jerk who keeps ignoring me.” 

That relationship didn’t work out for a reason. He might not even realize how often he replies but just thinks she isn’t texting me anymore? Try not to overthink it.

Why it’s okay not to answer his texts immediately

If you think about it, there is no real reason for this. No one has the right to demand you do anything that does not feel comfortable or natural to you. So if your phone vibrates in your pocket and it’s him, don’t give in to any feelings of guilt or anxiety because someone else wants something from you. 

What he thinks when you don’t text back: He wonders whether he did something wrong. So when a man texts his girlfriend asking where she went after their date, why doesn’t she just tell him? 

Why must women play games by making men wait longer than usual before replying? It seems like common sense, but many guys are left confused about what happened after they get ignored for hours at a time. 

If he asks you about your plans for the night, and your response is delayed by a few hours or so, he’s probably going to wonder what happened. 

He thinks: He wonders whether something happened. When she doesn’t answer texts immediately, some guys imagine all kinds of things that might be wrong with her — from being trapped in an elevator to having been kidnapped. 

Some may even think their text didn’t go through and send another one! Unfortunately, these thoughts are prevalent among men who just can’t understand why women sometimes don’t reply as quickly as they should.

How to make him feel better

To make you seem more attractive, send him a quick text back letting him know that someone else would love to have his attention. If he doesn’t feel threatened by your response, then this may be the perfect time for you guys to build up an emotional bond with each other

After all, it’s not about what you say or do but how he feels when he receives those messages from you. Know your man well enough so that if ever something went wrong between both of you in the future, at least he knows where he stands now through simple conversations like these. 

Be sure to use emoticons and emojis often to give off that innocent impression, even though sometimes we present ourselves as otherwise! 

Smileys are especially effective because they seem to like you’re smiling as you read his messages. But, of course, if he doesn’t know that you’re smiling, it could be a sign of disinterest, so try to stay away from those! 

Although sometimes it can be hard not to smile when you read his messages, especially if he’s witty! If your boyfriend still feels down even after these minor tweaks, then perhaps a movie night would be just what both of you need. 

Once again, this is an excellent way for him to feel better about himself because going out with someone else doesn’t have quite as much impact on his ego compared to watching a film together at home.

What you should do if he doesn’t stop texting after a few days

If you even want to get together with him again, you need to make sure he understands that this behavior is unacceptable. If he doesn’t stop after a few days of no response on your part, it’s time for some more direct action on your end. 

You can permanently block his number or change yours if you don’t want to talk about why the relationship didn’t work out – but only AFTER you’ve made clear that there are consequences for ignoring someone else’s feelings like this in the future. 

You’re not doing anyone any favors by letting them treat another person poorly without consequence, so stand up for yourself and politely let him know what will happen next if he continues trying to contact you with no regard for your needs! 

To be successful, you need to ensure that your needs are at the forefront of his mind. This means making it clear what is going to happen if he ignores them! You can also sit down and have a conversation with him about why this happened first, so you understand how things got this bad between the two of you. 

It’s essential for both parties involved when a relationship goes sour. They will most likely run into each other again or be friends on social media, where they constantly see posts from one another. 

You don’t want any hard feelings between either party after being broken up with – but sometimes people just aren’t willing to communicate their true feelings out loud, which leads us back here!

How to avoid the cycle of unanswered texts in the future

To prevent the process of unanswered texts, in the end, it is essential to be clear about your feelings and any other expectations you have. Everyone needs a chance for their words to sink in before deciding what steps should be taken next, so don’t feel rushed into responding immediately. 

It’s always good practice to wait at least 24 hours after first receiving a message from someone that has caught your attention or given you an adrenaline rush! If this person does not give up by then, they probably won’t anytime soon! 

So often, people become infatuated with one another because they’re both chasing each other around like dogs on hot asphalt who just want some kind of affection and warmth for once instead of being ignored all day long. 

The chase can be exciting, but the outcome is usually the same for this type of relationship. If you don’t want someone who doesn’t take no for an answer, why would they be interested in a woman who can’t make up her mind? 

If he does not respect your boundaries and keeps going even after being told several times to stop, find yourself another man! There are plenty more fish in the sea, and there’s nothing wrong with keeping them waiting if their interest level isn’t high enough yet!

Waiting means fewer headaches down the road because everyone knows what happens when you get into bed too early with people that aren’t willing or ready to commit themselves fully into a serious relationship just yet.

The best way to respond when your boyfriend is upset

The best way to respond when your boyfriend is upset with you for not responding quickly enough like he expected or wanted you to be is to apologize. You can say something like, “I’m sorry I took so long!” and then tell him that his text message just dropped in a different spot than where it usually does on your phone. 

This will help keep the peace between the two of you while also explaining why it took longer than usual for his texts to get through. You can ask him to be patient with you and say something like, “I’ll try my best! I got distracted when my phone was buzzing so much.” 

This is truthful but shows that you are trying your best, even if it takes a bit longer than usual for his texts to get through. One of the worst ways to respond when he gets upset because you didn’t text back right away would be to ignore him or pretend like nothing is wrong in any way, shape, or form. 

A great example here might be: “Oh yeah? How come?” This will make him feel guilty and embarrassed about getting angry while also ensuring he knows that there wasn’t anything wrong on your end.

Another good idea is to say something like “I was busy” or “I’m sorry, I got distracted.” This will show him that you are working/doing something else and were unable to respond in the time he expected. One of the worst ways to react when your boyfriend gets upset because you didn’t text back right away is by getting defensive about it. 

When and how often is too much or too little texting?

While there is no magic number when it comes to the perfect amount of time to wait before texting back, if you’re waiting too long, he’s going to think something along the lines of: “Are we dating? Is this serious? Or am I just a toy?”. 

If you text him every day and all day (which can be excessive) but never make plans with him in person or over the phone, his thoughts will likely shift towards: “She must not like me that much.” This leaves him feeling confused and wondering if he’s wasting his time. 

While you shouldn’t go overboard with texting, not replying for a few hours could cause concern. 

If he texts you something like: “Hey, what are you up to?”, or even just sends a simple question that requires an answer (e.g., What do you want to eat?) but doesn’t receive one within a reasonable amount of time, it will likely make him feel as though there is no spark between the two of you — at least from your end anyway. 

It can leave guys thinking things such as: “Is she mad at me? Did I say something wrong?” But, again, this leaves them confused about how they should act moving forward. 

Moreover, if you’re not answering his texts, he’s probably going to assume that you are busy doing other things. This could lead him to believe “She doesn’t have time for me” or even worse: “I’m not important enough in her life to cut.”

Some Open Questions

What should I text a guy to say that’s meaningful?

To make him feel appreciated is always a good idea. Don’t ignore his texts or take an inordinate amount of time to respond if you care about him. Alternatively, you could volunteer for a charitable event that he would be interested in and show your support for it on social media platforms. 

How to know if he still likes me?

Remember that the best way to find out if he still likes you is to speak with him about your feelings. If you’re not sure if a guy likes you, you should consider asking yourself why he isn’t responding to your texts. If it has been several days since you last heard from your boyfriend, it may be time to have an open and honest discussion about how he is feeling.

How do you read between the lines in his texts and messages?

If you want to figure out what your boyfriend is thinking through his texts, you’ll have to look for subtle clues. The fact that he is not expressing his feelings for you in any obvious ways while talking about how much fun he had hanging out with someone else indicates that something is not right with his feelings towards you.


Now that you’ve learned what to do when your significant other doesn’t respond to your texts, it’s time for you to put your knowledge into action. 

If he doesn’t text you back, you’ll need to establish realistic expectations for him. In contrast, men send some texts simply because they aren’t looking for a relationship at all. 

If this is the case, don’t be too concerned because the majority of men will let you know what they are thinking very quickly!!

bryan rucker writer for romancescams
Written by Bryan Rucker

Brian Rucker writes about all things related to online dating and lifestyle. He has written hundreds of articles, specializing in online dating scams, and has written other fun and exciting topics in the online dating space. Read more of Bryan's articles.

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