6 Reasons to Stop Texting First

“Hey, what are you up to?” “What’s your favorite color?” Texting someone first may seem innocent enough, but it can have a powerful effect on the dynamics of your relationship. 

If you’re looking for love, texting someone first is not the way to do it. 

It might sound like common sense that if you want someone interested in getting closer with you, they should initiate things by reaching out. 

But this does not always work when texting because people are often busy or distracted and don’t always respond right away, even though they may want to talk later. 

If he doesn’t text back after two hours of waiting, she will feel insecure about herself and wonder why he isn’t interested in her.

Stop Texting First – The Thought Process

Texting is a poor way to get to know someone.

Texting is a poor way to get to know someone. The only reason texting works as a primary method of communication between two people in the modern world is that everyone has smartphones and can respond instantly. 

If you have an iPhone, your phone might buzz every few minutes with text messages from random strangers who want nothing more than for you to click on a link to their online dating profile. 

But what about getting together? It’s not like someone always wants to be talking over the phone or face-to-face at all times; there are many instances where it would be rude (like when driving) or even impossible (if he lives across town).

It’s not the most effective way to communicate feelings and emotions.

These are things that you should be able to talk about with someone if a relationship is going well, but texting doesn’t leave room for much other than short sentences or phrases, like “How was your day?” or “Can we meet up tonight?”. 

However, there is one exception – it can work if both people know each other exceptionally well already. In this case, they might get along great until something happens where they cannot physically speak in person (like when he goes on vacation). 

But even then, sending text messages isn’t nearly as good as seeing them face-to-face because of how easy it would be for him to lie over a text message, by saying what she wants to hear.

You can’t see or hear their reactions, which makes it difficult to tell if they’re interested in you or not.

It would be great to have a clear understanding of how he feels about you and what’s going on inside his mind, but that is almost impossible by just looking at text messages coming from someone else’s phone. 

The only way to know whether your crush likes you back as more than a friend is through spending quality time with them one-on-one.

In-person, there are endless opportunities for nonverbal communication, like body language and eye contact – both of which make it much easier for him to express himself without having words get in the way (like when she says something dumb). 

But even then, things aren’t perfect because it would be hard for him to understand how she feels about the relationship without talking about his own emotions. 

Writing down your thoughts can help you convey everything that’s going on in your mind before sending a text message, which will reduce misunderstandings and confusion over time by making yourself clear, so he doesn’t have to guess what you mean. 

It can lead people to make assumptions about what you 

It can lead people to make assumptions about what you want from them when there are other ways of finding out – like talking on the phone or in person. 

For instance, he might assume she only wants a casual relationship because she’s been sending him flirty text messages for weeks and refuses to have an entire conversation over the phone, unless it is work-related. 

But this could not be further from the truth because maybe all that time apart has made her miss him more than she expected, so now, instead of just being friends with benefits, things have started turning into something more serious lately (although they still aren’t ready yet). 

When someone who wants an answer right away is put under pressure, texting becomes less helpful to communicate because there is no time to think things through carefully. 

People may be turned off by your constant need for attention

In the long run, people may be turned off by your constant need for attention and lack of desire for anything beyond texting. 

For instance, he might think she only wants to talk about her problems because it’s something they have never done before – so this seems like a new way to get even closer as friends (even though she just needs someone who will listen without judging). 

However, suppose things go on much longer than that. In that case, there is also a chance you could end up going from being “just friends” with benefits down to an acquaintance status, where neither one of them knows what else they can say or do to make their relationship better again after spending less time together. 

And no matter how strong a connection either partner feels like they still have with one another, there is only so much that can be said or done through text messages alone before it feels like a conversation between two strangers. 

For example, he might assume she has no interest in what’s going on in his life lately because all of the information about him comes from her side and not vice versa – which could make things feel lopsided and unbalanced. 

In other words, if both partners are constantly stuck concentrating on their own lives instead of what else might be happening around them, then this means neither will ever get an accurate picture of who the other person is as a whole outside of just being friends with benefits.

The person on the other end may feel pressured 

The person on the other end may feel pressured into responding right away because they don’t want you thinking that they aren’t interested in you. 

But, more importantly, if he is constantly asking her what she’s doing or where she has been, then it can be seen as being too clingy and overbearing – even though this behavior might just stem from a general fear of losing contact with someone who was once so close to them. 

In fact, after spending less time together due to work commitments or simply not seeing each other for months at a time, there will usually come an inevitable point when one partner feels like they have fallen behind their friend/partner, by getting left out of all of their inside jokes.

Open Questions

When should you stop texting?

The best way to know is by simply listening to your instincts because they will tell you the moment when it feels like something has changed between both of you. 

For example, if she texts him about seeing a movie and he never bothers replying, that shows her all she needs to know for her to move on with her life (even though this might seem harsh or unfair at first). 

But, on the other hand, if he always wants more than just sex from their relationship, then there’s also no reason he can’t give up on playing games online.

This means showing his intentions right away instead of letting things go too far before finally revealing how much deeper his feelings are getting.

What should I do if I always text her first?

The best thing to do is stop texting first because this will allow you to take a step back and let things develop naturally between the two of you; without feeling pressured into responding right away.

There’s a chance that she might start texting him first, due to making assumptions about what he likes seeing from his partner online (even though it could lead them both down an even more confusing path). 

For another example, if she keeps sending selfies or sexualized content, he may feel obligated to respond with something equally explicit – which often leads to people crossing lines they were hoping would remain uncrossed.

What is the best way to ask someone out?

The most effective thing you can do when asking someone out for a date or whatever else is simply be direct with what you’re offering. For instance, let’s say that he wants her contact information instead of just exchanging usernames.

Then he should be straightforward about this desire and not wait around too long before finally making his move (even though she may feel like things are moving in the right direction if they have been talking online every day). 

But, on the other hand, if she asks him how his weekend went without ever giving any room for conversation between them, then there’s something holding her back from taking their relationship offline.


Stop texting first because this is the best way to know if your crush or partner has indeed fallen out of love with you. 

At first, it may seem unfair to move on from someone who was once so close to them simply because they have been spending less time together recently.

There’s a chance that this person wants more than just sex from their relationship and will be forced into playing games online unless things are cleared up between them right away (even though some people might feel like hiding their feelings for fear of being rejected).

bryan rucker writer for romancescams
Written by Bryan Rucker

Brian Rucker writes about all things related to online dating and lifestyle. He has written hundreds of articles, specializing in online dating scams, and has written other fun and exciting topics in the online dating space. Read more of Bryan's articles.

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