Dating a Doctor: Pros, Cons, Things to Know in 2019

Dating a doctor is probably one of the biggest fantasies shared by men and women alike. The fact is, there is nothing better than being able to tell your friends that you’re dating a doctor, and let’s face it: Bringing a doctor home to meet your mother is instant bonus points.

The idea and the actual reality of it are two different things. Dating a doctor isn’t all Grey’s Anatomy and roses. (And thank goodness, because an unusually high number of doctors die at Grey Sloan Memorial)

To reach the top of the medical profession food chain, doctors have spent high school, college and medical school competing to be at the top, and upon graduation they go on to their residencies and compete with a whole new crowd. They have worked hard and they’re not going to give things up for a relationship, so it’s incumbent upon a doctor’s romantic partner to understand where they fit in the greater scheme of things.

In fact, once you understand what life is like while dating a doctor, it makes things a lot easier. If you understand the game it’s a lot easier to play by the rules.


Things to Know About Dating a Doctor

Things to Know About Dating a Doctor

Not all doctors are the same. There are doctors who work in private practice and those that work in hospitals. Primary care physicians and surgeons are very different. Even private practice doctors can get called in the middle of the night for emergencies. ER doctors might find themselves on call for 48 periods (night shift dating may be an option) and so the only way you’ll see your significant other is to meet for lunch in the hospital cafeteria.

While “dating a doctor” is a fairly universal phrase, it’s important to understand that each doctor and each specialty comes with its own challenges and benefits so it’s important to understand what kind of doctor you’re dating instead of focusing on the title alone.


Pros of Dating a Doctor

Appreciation for Time Together

Pros of dating a doctor

Knowing that a doctor will always be busy, you will learn to appreciate the time you spend together. Though you will be the one to do most of the planning for trips and dates, when it’s your time together you will look forward to it so much more knowing that you don’t have to worry about anything else.

This is one of those counterintuitive pros to a relationship, as many people don’t see being apart a lot as a benefit. However, knowing that you have to appreciate the time you have when you have it is so much better than having lots of time with someone and taking it for granted. And your doctor will appreciate that time so much as well. It leads to very meaningful relationships.

Becoming a Better Person

Even the most selfless people will experience feelings of frustration when dates are interrupted by emergencies. However, after some practice you will find yourself appreciating that your partner is going to save a life when he leaves you. Being able to embrace that is part of the part to becoming a better person, and enlightenment is always admirable.

The other benefit to being able to embrace when she has to leave for an emergency is that she will appreciate your understanding, too. Not many doctors have partners who can fully support their often hectic lifestyles and so being able to tell their doctor colleagues about their understanding girlfriend will earn them some bragging rights as well.

Instant Healthcare

Female doctor

Dating a doctor can be incredibly practical. Not only can she stitch up your hand when you slice it open, but she can also take the stitches out, all from the comfort of your couch. And what’s more is that she’ll probably insist upon it, because doctors won’t want to go into work (i.e. the hospital) on a day off if it can be avoided.

Dating a doctor can be incredibly practical. Not only can she stitch up your hand when you slice it open, but she can also take the stitches out, all from the comfort of your couch. And what’s more is that she’ll probably insist upon it, because doctors won’t want to go into work (i.e. the hospital) on a day off if it can be avoided.

This is also great when you wake up with the flu or eat some bad sushi. Dating a doctor can be incredibly useful.


Cons

Long Hours

No matter what their “schedule” is, there is no such thing as clocking out at 5pm when you’re a doctor. If they have patients waiting, you see them all. If they have a case that takes more time than expected, they stay to finish it along with all of their other work.

Doctor’s wives always talk about the loneliness that comes with being a doctor’s wife and having to sit home waiting for him to come home. This is part of the reason doctors date other doctors or members of the medical field, as people on the inside understand the lifestyle.

If you’re not the kind of person to sit and wait for your partner to come home, then dating a doctor might not be the right fit.

They Are Always Tired and Stressed Out

doctors are always tired and stressed out

Being in the helping profession can take a toll on anyone, and being a doctor is no exception. Doctors deal with life or death situations every day. They see death. They lose patients. One wrong decision can change everything.

Doctors work long hours and they bring their work home with them. If it’s not physical work like charting, it’s the emotional baggage that follows them home. The first order of business after a long shift is to relax and regroup, and then they might be up to go out with you after work. And just because they’re out doesn’t mean they’re not thinking about work.

It can be hard for some people to accept that their partner is always stressed out, and this can tear relationships apart.

Spontaneity Can Backfire

Planning goes out the window when dating a doctor. You could have the most romantic Valentine’s Day date planned but if the hospital calls they’re going into work, whether they like it or not. The problem is that a doctor’s desire to be involved with every call makes it seem like they’d rather go into work than be with you, and this can be hard for relationships. Saying  “I’m sorry, I have to go” just doesn’t make the frustration of planning the perfect date go away.


Wrap Up

Dating a doctor is stressful. Their stress can become your stress. They work long hours and have to deal with a lot. The lifestyle isn’t for everyone, and it takes some tough skin and the ability to withstand being alone a lot to make it work.

However, at the end of the day the stress is worth it because you will find that dating a doctor is incredibly rewarding and you instantly join the club with other men and women who understand your experience. At the end of the day not everyone can say that their boyfriend/girlfriend saved lives at work.


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