Dating a Cop: Pros, Cons, Things to Know

Are you dating a police officer and you’re not sure what to expect? Maybe you’ve been friends for a while and you finally decided to take it to the next level, or maybe you just met and hit it off. Whatever the case is, you need to understand that cops live a totally different life from the rest of us so you can expect dating one to be different as well.

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Pros of Dating a Cop

The following are some of the pros and cons of dating a police officer:  

1. Security  

pros of dating a cop

Dating a police officer who interacts with dangerous criminals every day gives you a certain level of safety and security that not many people have. Other people have to dial 911 when in trouble; you just need to call his/her name and you will be safe. Police officers have training and experience in combat which can be useful when you find yourself in violent situations. Police officers also carry a gun which is more than enough to scare away intruders or defend you in dangerous situations.   

2. Independence  

If you like to have your space in a relationship, dating a cop might be the best arrangement for you. Cops are on duty most days, including holidays and when not at work, they are probably catching up on some sleep. If you are an ambitious and independent person with your own unique goals, you could really use the free time to run errands, take naps, enjoy your own hobbies, and do other things without feeling suffocated in your relationship.   

3. You’ll have a natural leader in the house  

Cops are constantly forced to make key decisions in the line of duty, some of which are life or death situations. They have to make quick spur-of-the-moment decisions to resolve civilian issues before they escalate. As such, you can expect the cop to take those leadership traits home and apply them in various situations. Can’t decide what to eat? Stressed out about something? You can expect a police officer to help you tackle various issues head on and decisively.   

4. Cops are respected members of society  

cops are respected members of society

Cops are loved by most people in their neighborhoods as they keep them safe and protect their properties. You can expect the cop you are dating to have many friends in the community and to receive praise, respect, or even free gifts for the jobs they do.   

5. A cop is more likely to have a good heart 

Most cops join the police force in order to be able to make some positive changes to help their communities. You can expect a cop to be a person of high moral character with a tendency towards altruism.  

6. Cops are strong 

Police academies have various requirements for anyone to be a part of law enforcement, particularly with regard to health and fitness. You need to be fit and strong enough to pass the various tests.   

7. Cops are brave  

Cops live a life where they constantly have to put their lives in danger every day. Such a job helps them to develop a level of bravery that you can’t find anywhere else naturally. A cop will be able to respond to terrible situations calmly and gently and find a way out quicker.  

Cons of Dating a Cop  

1. You don’t get to see them much

cons of dating a cop

I know we said above that this can be an advantage since it gives you more time to focus on yourself. However, most times the cop’s absence will seem a bit too much and the worst part is, you can’t visit him at work anytime you miss him as it’s risky.   

2. Feelings of helplessness  

Once you start falling in love with a cop, you obviously want the best for them and to protect them from everything negative they face. This is not possible with a cop. You will always know in the back of your mind that they could be in danger at any particular time but you will have no way to help them.   

3. Cops have powerful and dangerous enemies  

The acts that will make your cop boyfriend/girlfriend a loved member of the society are the same ones that will make them a target to some of the most dangerous individuals they could be working to or have already put behind bars. Some of these criminals will spend a lot of time obsessing over ways to revenge which could put you in danger if the criminal tries to use you to get to the cop.  

4. Cops must answer to the call of duty  

Cops will always respond to the call of duty; It doesn’t matter if it’s in the middle of the night when you are trying to sleep or making love, during dinner, during public holidays or any other random time when you think you finally get some time to spend with them. The call of duty for a cop is sacred and it can leave you feeling like they don’t care enough about you while in reality, they just want to help people.  

5. Their schedules can be crazy  

Crime happens all the time and there have to be cops on duty at all times to maintain law and order and to respond to emergency calls at any time. As such, sometimes the cop you are dating could be assigned to work at a time  that prevents you from seeing them as much as you would like.   

6. PTSD is real  

PTSD is real

Most cops have seen and done terrible things in the line of duty especially if they operate in high crime areas. Having to shoot criminals, getting shot, and other on-the-job events can cause PTSD which can make the cop’s life and your life miserable. Some serious PTSD cases can lead to a total change of behavior and personality which can affect the cop for a long time.   

7. The risk of death is higher  

Due to the dangerous nature of their jobs, cops are at a higher risk of dying on the job than lawyers, accounts, bankers, or most other people you choose to date. Every time you say goodbye to them in the morning could be the last. This can make it hard for you to fully commit to the relationship as you will always be scared to end up alone too early in life.  

Things to Know when Dating a Male Cop  

So you’ve seen them in their sexy uniforms and you feel it’s time you got yourself a cop boyfriend. Well, here’s what you need to know before jumping in. Having a cop for a boyfriend can be a thrilling experience but it’s not for everyone. If you need a lot of attention, have trust issues, get jealous easily, are dependent, or you want a “normal” life, maybe dating a cop is not the best thing for you.

First, there will never be a time when your boyfriend is 100% free to be with you. They could be called in at any time and they will have to drop everything and go to work. The weekends and holidays when you think you’ll see him are the busiest days in a cop’s world and when you are busy, that’s when they get a day off. It can be impossible trying to find time to spend with him in between his erratic schedules.

Another thing you may have to deal with is infidelity. Every day your boyfriend will be around women who throw themselves at him and sometimes the temptation is too much. Not to mention, their bond with female officers or dispatchers may seem suspicious even if they are not physically cheating.

However, it’s not all bad. You will be proud of who your boyfriend is and feel so happy every time you hear him get back home safe to you. You will feel safe and protected every time you are with him as if he’s your own personal bodyguard.

Things to Know When Dating a Female Cop

things to know when dating a female cop

Dating a female cop is also not for everyone. First of all, do not expect a submissive girlfriend who accepts anything without putting up a fight. Female cops are used to taking charge of various matters in the line of duty so be ready to let go of the reins from time to time and allow her to make some important decisions.

Just like their male counterparts, female cops also have to work with crazy schedules that may not allow you to see her sometimes even for an entire week. Sometimes you may have to take up some roles that have been traditionally taken up by women, such as cooking, doing laundry, among others. You may also have to take her out for dates at weird times.   You also have to face the fact that you can’t protect her when she’s at work even if you feel like that should be your responsibility as a man. There’s a high chance that in a fight, she would actually wipe the floor with you.

Do not even think about cheating on a female cop. Women are naturally suspicious and may use their police resources to investigate and when they find out you’re cheating, who knows what they’ll do.

Dating a female cop has many perks though; for one, you don’t have to deal with a needy woman who is always seeking for attention. A female cop is too busy to notice when you don’t want to spend time with her. You won’t have to bear the responsibility of protecting her; she can do it herself. And when it’s time to role play, the ideas are endless.

FAQs about Dating a Cop in 2023

What should I know before dating a police officer?

It’s important to understand the demands and responsibilities of their job. They might have irregular schedules, face dangerous situations, and be subject to high levels of stress.

How do I handle their unpredictable schedule?

Flexibility and understanding are key. Recognize that their work schedule may not always align with yours, and be willing to adapt plans accordingly.

Is it safe to date a police officer?

While dating a police officer does not inherently make you less safe, it’s essential to be aware of the risks associated with their job. They might be exposed to dangerous situations, and it’s important to trust their training and judgment.

What if they bring work home with them?

It’s common for police officers to carry the emotional weight of their job. Be supportive and listen if they need to talk, but also encourage healthy ways for them to decompress and take care of themselves.

How can I show my support for their career?

Acknowledge and appreciate the sacrifices they make to keep the community safe. Encourage open communication about their experiences, and be understanding of the challenges they face.

What about their colleagues and police culture?

Respect for their colleagues and understanding of police culture can go a long way. Be open-minded and try to learn about their experiences, but also respect their need for confidentiality.

What if they get called in during our plans?

This is a common occurrence in the life of a police officer. Be understanding and flexible when plans need to be changed or postponed due to work-related emergencies.

How can I help them deal with stress and trauma?

Encourage healthy coping mechanisms like exercise, relaxation techniques, or spending time together in a low-stress environment. Encourage them to seek professional help if they’re struggling with the emotional toll of their job.

What if they’re dealing with a difficult case or situation?

Be a supportive listener, but also respect their need for privacy. Offer encouragement and let them know you’re there for them, but don’t push them to share more than they’re comfortable with.

What if they’re not open about their work?

Some police officers may be more reserved about discussing their job. Respect their boundaries and let them share at their own pace. Show interest, but don’t pressure them to talk.

Wrap Up

Now that you know what to expect when dating a cop, it all comes down to you and whether you are willing to accept and live with the fact that your boyfriend or girlfriend is a cop. There will be many challenges, but so does every other relationship. But if you find a way to make it work, you can find an amazing life partner in a cop.

chelsea king - chief editor of romancescams
Written by Chelsea King

Chelsea has been a direct victim of romance scams herself losing over $35,000 in a span of a year in 2015. She joined and took over operations of in 2015. She brings first-hand experience in studying romance scams, and also experience in vetting dating sites for legitimacy. Read more of Chelsea's articles.

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