Determining whether or not dating is haram can be very confusing. This is why we have decided to explain this to you, using standard beliefs typically followed by most Muslims.
The religion of Islam is beautiful, and it’s actually the fastest growing religion on earth. This means that with a billion plus followers, including the thousands of converts joining the faith each and every day, that relationships will start to become a household topic.
This, however, means something a little different in Islam. Islam is the religion of the Quran, said to be brought down to humanity through the last and final messenger Muhammad (may the peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) 1400 years ago.
So this has brought the question whether or not dating is halal or a haram activity. The Quran is vast in nature and complex in words, so we have created this article so you may learn quickly if this activity is permissible — or if it’s strictly prohibited. This article generally follows what most imams recommend and believe to be true.
Check out our Muslim dating guide for more information…
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Halal vs Haram RelationshipsÂ
The West vs The World
This is a question asked by millions of Muslims everyday; especially including all of the new Muslim converts. They see dating as a normal phenomenon, particularly but not limited to those living in western society. To most, dating is seen as a chance to get to know someone, before continuing the relationship further, even possibly leading to marriage. It’s sort of a try-out time, and usually isn’t all too serious, at least to begin with.
The Big Picture
Relationships are, however, much different in the religion of Islam. Muslims all throughout the world believe that the Quran is the word from Allah with Muhammad (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) as the final messenger. This means that Muslims must always abide by the orders of Allah. Dating actually isn’t directly prohibited as you would think in the Quran. You have to piece together the big picture to understand it.
Surah al Noor 31-32
If you take a look at ‘Surah al Noor verses 31–32’ it states ‘Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do.’ This essentially means that sexual activity is indeed strictly prohibited, unless, of course, you’re married. This is also understood as not gazing at women, particularly to flirt or show the affection that others would in western society to someone they have the hots for.
If Dating Is Haram, How Do I Marry?
The First Step
This can be a super confusing aspect in Islam, but actually isn’t so complicated. Most of the time, once you’re ready to find marriage, you will then alert your local Imam, friends or family so they know you’re looking for a serious relationship—Marriage.
Guided By A Friend
When you are ready to start looking for marriage, usually you will be guided to someone by a person in your family, through the Masjid, or a Muslim friend that knows someone who is ready for marriage. Typically you will both meet at whatever is local such as restaurants, near Mosque (but not inside) or at your Chaperones desired place.
The Role of The Chaperone
Chaperones are the person who comes along with the two Muslims when they meet with each other. This helps prevent the two from falling into any temptation that may arise. This is not a date, it’s a chance to meet your potential partner, allowing you to understand their desires for life.
It’s Different, Not Unusual
Marriage typically comes rather quickly in Islam. Although this may seem unusual to those outside, we first need to understand that there are more than a billion Muslims. This is actually not unusual at all, it’s just different from what is common in western society.
Family is Important in Islam
Family is very important in Muslim’s lives, and it’s not untypical to meet the parents of the person who had caught your interest pretty quickly. After all, in many cases, the father of the woman usually has to approve of you if you’re a man, though this is almost never a concern worth worrying about.
Do Traditional Muslim Meets Actually Work?
It’s Sought After
Many may have the question of ‘I don’t get to date, which means I cannot develop a close relationship like most in the west do, so how is this going to work out?’ This is a common concern. As mentioned before, it’s not unusual, just a bit different than other religions.
It’s Fun
Muslims are actually pretty satisfied with this process of meeting their potential husband or wife with a Chaperone nearby. Although it may sound super organized or boring to some, this is definitely not the case. You will both be able to talk with each other, laugh, talk about future goals and ambitions, or anything else halal that you’d like.
Waiting For The Big Day
Allah wants the best saved for marriage, so the hijab of the woman will stay on and must only be removed in front of family — including their husband. Remember, Allah instructed everyone to ‘lower your gaze.’ This means that chastity must be followed until that big day.
Final Thoughts
Islam what said to have been brought to humanity 1400 years ago through the last and final messenger of the Quran; Muhammad (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). Muhammad is sort of a role model for Muslims all around the world. According to Islamic historians, scholars, surahs and hadiths, Muhammad was said to be a very simple man.
Part of this simplicity included chastity until marriage, as well as abstaining from dating. Because Allah instructed mankind to lower their gaze, it is believed that dating should be avoided, so that mankind may not be tempted to partake in haram activities that would otherwise be halal in a marriage. This is also believed to save the best for marriage, which is definitely a subjective matter. However, it saves some of the otherwise amazing human aspects so that it may be enjoyed after Marriage. Imagine this, you get married and have an endless amount of opportunities to travel, settle down, or even have kids. These are all beautiful aspects of life, that are each special, particularly during the marriage. Marriage is a type of a bond like no other. Salaam!
