Indonesian Dating Scams in 2023: Things to Know and Protection

Scammers originate from all over the world; and Indonesia is no exception. Because of their sometimes low living conditions, some, though definitely not all, women living there will begin scamming vulnerable men. 

They do this by using different methods. However, we are going to go over a few of the more popular scams used to target and take advantage of unsuspecting men.

Unlike many other scam methods used in countries such as Nigeria, Indonesian scammers will not hesitate to meet in real life; and even marry a man. Continue reading to learn more about Indonesian dating scams and what you can do to prevent them from happening to you.

Could you be a victim of a Indonesian Dating Scam? Click here to find out…

Indonesian Dating Scams: Common Formats

Foreign Girlfriend Held Hostage 

The scammer claims that she is traveling

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This is a very bold tactic used by Indonesian scammers. As usual, they will both begin flirting with each other online; after some time has passed, the scammer will begin asking for small amounts of money — usually less than one hundred US dollars. Eventually, though, the scammer will state that she is traveling to a nearby city to get some sort of errands done. 

Victim begins receiving ransom threats

Shortly after this, the victim will begin receiving messages from the victim claiming that she has been abducted and is being held for ransom. Since she lives in a country with a poor police force, the victim knows he has no choice but to help. The scammer, who is, at this point, identifying as the abductor, will request a large amount of money in order to free her. 

The victim sends the money

Unaware that this is a popular scam, the victim moves forward with the request and sends the money. This is usually the last time the victim has any sort of communication with the scammer and is typically when they report this person to the authorities. Oftentimes, the scammer will wait as long as possible, even more than a year to initiate this final scam, in order to gain his trust — thus leading to a successful scam.

False Emergencies

Fake profile

To begin with, the scammer will create some sort of fake profile, either on social media or a dating website. They will be using fake names, stolen profile photos and may even have a sketchy bio, none of which you may notice right away.  Afterwards, the scammer will begin reaching out to potential victims to begin reeling them in. When you both begin chatting together, the scammer will likely mention that she lives in Indonesia pretty quickly. 

Quickly falling in love

Often, Indonesian scammers will initially hide their identity from the victim. That especially holds true if they are new to the scam; hence the fake profile. Within the next week or two, she will begin mentioning that she loves you, which is obviously nearly impossible in such a short amount of time. However, she is successful more often than you think at making the victim develop feelings. This is her job of sorts, after all.

Sudden emergency

Once she has you on the hook, though, she will begin mentioning sudden emergencies. Most of the time, it is something related to life-saving surgery or even something as minor as an electricity bill. In awe and wanting to help the woman you’ve grown feelings for, it only makes sense to want to help. You send her the money and she thanks you, though it doesn’t stop here. She will continue asking you for money once she sees that you don’t hesitate and will drain your bank account very quickly — if allowed.


Initial contact

The marriage scam is specifically a popular method used within Asian countries. It is undoubtedly a very heartbreaking experience for the victim. To start out, the scammer and victim may meet on a dating website or on some sort of social media platform. As usual, and just like any other conversation, they will both begin chatting about whatever is relevant at that time. The scammer, typically a woman, will begin mentioning that she lives in Indonesia.

She develops love at warp speed

These types of scammers are very skilled with these scams and know exactly what to say in order to make you fall head over heels for them; so the victim continues to communicate with her, in hopes that he has finally found that perfect match. After a week or so passes, she will quickly begin telling the victim how much she loves him. However, this is no true love story.

Sugar daddy

The true intentions of the scammer is to eventually have the victim agree to marriage and fly out to live with her; but only part time, as she likely has more than one victim. In short, the victim is her own personal sugar daddy. The problem here is that he is completely unaware of this and believes himself to be in a genuine relationship. Sometimes it takes months or even years to figure out you are a victim of this scam, so be very careful and cautious when talking to others overseas about marriage. 

Could you be a victim of a Indonesian Dating Scam? Click here to find out…

Things to remember for Indonesian Dating Scams

Honest people don’t ask for money

Honest people don't ask for money

In scenarios where a foreigner is involved, it is very unlikely that they are being honest when they ask for money. Never send money to anyone online, especially when it involves some sort of online relationship.

Falling in love too quickly

Although possible, it is extremely rare to build love for someone online, especially in such a short amount of time. These Indonesian scammers, however, will quickly start mentioning that they love you and would like marriage. This should be a red flag right off the bat. Unfortunately, this is often not the case, therefore many victims that have fallen for this exist.

Don’t give personal information 

Identity theft, bankruptcy, and countless other legal issues can arise once you have given someone your personal information. This can be anything from banking details, to your social security number. When asked for this information, consider it a warning and immediately block this person.

Could you be a victim of a Indonesian Dating Scam? Click here to find out…

Preventing Indonesian Romance Scams

Video Chat 

Before you decide to meet someone in a foreign country on a dating site, you should at least video chat with them. Not only will this allow you to verify that their real face matches their profile photo, it will also give you a great opportunity to ask hard questions. Ask them about their living conditions; why they want you to fly out, for example. This can give you a unique opportunity to see their facial expressions and listen to their tone of voice, which can help you discern whether they are the real deal.

Call Them

Calling them is in no doubt a necessary step to get to the truth, especially if you are flying to her country. You could ask questions such as where she works, and why. If she states that she is unemployed, yet she lives in a city with an abundance of jobs, why is she unemployed, and for how long? This is particularly the case if she has kids.

Social Media 

When you are reached out to by someone, especially in Indonesia, claiming that they would like to chat, checking their social media should be the first thing that you do. Search for their Facebook and check to see how many friends they have. If the number is super low, then this is not a good sign; even more so if they have lack of engagement like likes and comments. You should also try to find any photos of her with an American, because Americans aren’t usually up for grabs in Indonesia.

Could you be a victim of a Indonesian Dating Scam? Click here to find out…

Interesting Story

This story is a prime example of what happens to many people each year. After going through the initial scam process and meeting in person, the scammer begins taking full advantage of her newly acquired sugar daddy. She starts by asking for smaller things, but after they have married each other, it quickly escalates into the victim buying her expensive clothes, jewelry, and even renting her an upscale apartment. 

This apparently wasn’t good enough for her, though, as she eventually started complaining that he was not doing a good enough job taking care of her and that he should get her an even nicer apartment. The kicker here is that the victim did not even live with her the vast majority of the time! Eventually, though, other people started contacting the victim claiming to be close friends and relatives of the scammer, complaining about his lack of doings for her as well.

He finally learned about a few fake profiles of hers, though a little too late. Each profile had an entirely different life within them, each with different husbands and boyfriends. After he found out about this and confronted her, she quit and literally said to leave her alone so she could move on to the next victim, even after all of that time married. The victim found out around the same time that she had over 250 other victims in her contact list that she had blocked. This victim, however, would be the next one. There is so much more to this story, so if you would like to read more, click here.

Could You Be A Victim Of An Indonesian Dating Scam?! 

It is important that you perform a quick background check on who you are actually speaking to on the internet (you can do that here). The common questions that spring to mind are:

  • Are they using fake identities?
  • Am I really speaking to a real person from the USA?

To help the users of this site we have partnered with BeenVerified so you can check exactly that. This checking service reveals everything about this would be romance scammer and if they are a real person!

Helpful Information Available on BeenVerified:

  • Arrest Records (Please check this!)
  • Photos  (Helps check if the same photos are used for multiple profiles with different names)
  • Email Addresses
  • Phone Numbers
  • Social Profiles (IMPORTANT – Do they have a real social profile or multiple)
  • Home Addresses
  • Relatives & Associates
  • Sex Offenders Register (Be safe who you are meeting!)
  • And More…

If you have the slightest doubt about who you are speaking to… Please use this service!

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bryan rucker writer for romancescams
Written by Bryan Rucker

Brian Rucker writes about all things related to online dating and lifestyle. He has written hundreds of articles, specializing in online dating scams, and has written other fun and exciting topics in the online dating space. Read more of Bryan's articles.

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