How to Get a Girlfriend in Middle School in 2023: Top 10 Tips

When you’re in middle school, life can seem to be moving at a snail’s pace. Your body seems as though it’s fighting against you, your emotions are raging within you, and all your friends and other classmates seem to have changed in appearance as well.

This stage of your life is extremely important in your development, and with your emotions seeming like a ticking time bomb, along with your strange body odor and hair in unsavory places, it can feel like you have zero chance of scoring a girlfriend. Well, I’m here to tell you that even in middle school, anything is possible!

Today, we will be delving deep into some of the main tips you should follow in order to get a girlfriend while you are enduring the area of your life that is middle school!

Top 10 Tips For How To Get a Girlfriend in Middle School

1. Keep up with your Hygiene

Top 10 Tips For Getting A Middle School Girlfriend

As you’ve probably noticed, being between the ages of 12-14 begins a very strange and stinky part of growing up, but it won’t last forever! Sure, you will need to maintain yourself a little more often than when you were a kid, but the intensity of the body odor will die down a little the older you get.

One of the main ways to get a leg up in the “dating” game while also going through puberty is to take good care of your hygiene! Shower daily, use deodorant liberally, and take care of your hair, too. Using a bar of soap from head to toe is not acceptable any longer– buy some shampoo! Being clean and smelling fresh will have the girls flocking to you in no time.

2. Don’t Show off too Much

A lot of guys seem to think showing off in various different ways will impress girls, when in reality it can make you look like a jerk, depending on what you define as “showing off”.

Bullying people, making rude remarks, acting disrespectful towards teachers and other adults, or vandalizing someone else’s property is NOT cool, and is NOT “showing off”. If you insist on displaying some sort of skill, do a skateboard trick, an optical illusion, or play an instrument– you can still try to impress girls without hurting someone else in the process.

3. Talk to her Friends

If you have a certain girl in mind that you would like to begin courting, one popular method of winning over a girl’s heart is to connect with her friends

If you have a certain girl in mind that you would like to begin courting, one popular method of winning over a girl’s heart is to connect with her friends, tell them how you feel, and maybe even find out a few of her favorite things so you can use them in your favor.

Don’t try and use any obtained information to manipulate or coax the girl into liking you; if she likes you, she will eventually let you know. If her friends state that she likes someone else and that you should give up, then you may need to explore other routes and options.

4. Keep Options Open

Say you have your eye on one specific girl, but she just won’t give you the time of day. She rejects you almost daily, makes snide comments, and laughs at your advances. In this case, you should likely try and find someone else to be your muse, as most girls around this age can be catty and a little bit petty.

To save yourself from disappointment, you should move on and show her that she isn’t your only option! You could find a girl who is much more suited for you and likes you for who you are.

5. Be Yourself

This is perhaps the most important factors that can get you a girlfriend while you’re in middle school, just be yourself

This is perhaps the most important factors that can get you a girlfriend while you’re in middle school, just be yourself! If you try and conform to different hobbies and lifestyles that you just don’t fit into, in order to impress some girl, then she probably isn’t the right one for you.

Be who you are, do what you like to do, and just be nice and always open to try new things. You never know, you may find a new hobby that end up loving, and it may come with a girlfriend in the end!

6. Wear Clean Clothes!

Come on, dude– you’re in middle school, so we already know your mom washes your clothes, you just have to put the dirty ones in the clothes bin so she can wash them, dry them and have them ready for your spoiled little self.

All you have to do is wear the CLEAN ones, instead of listening to your little manly instinct deep down telling you that even though you have worn the same shirt three days in a row, it still has a couple days worth of life left. Do not believe these LIES! It is stinky, gross, and people can smell you, I promise. Being clean and smelling good goes a long way.

7. Stay out of your Dad’s Cologne

Stay out of your Dad’s Cologne

I know this is probably the opposite of what you were expecting to see, but I can assure you that a 12 year old girl is not going to respond to a gallon of Ralph Lauren cologne that your dad stores up high in his closet, specifically to keep you from getting into it.

Chances are, if you are under the age of 25, you have no idea how much cologne is too much, so it’s best just to steer clear of it. Using manly scented soaps and wearing fresh, clean clothes will have you smelling just as good as you need to, without overpowering girls’ nostrils with Gucci knockoff scents.

8. Don’t Give too Much Attention

Girls around that age feed on practically nothing but attention and name brand clothes and makeup. I know this sounds a little harsh, but by NOT giving a girl all the attention in the world, you could make her more likely to fall for you. Sure, you can talk to her, text her every now and then, or hang out with her during your school break, but you don’t want to dedicate all of your time and effort into giving her attention.

12-14 year old girls are so not in control of their emotions, and they may think they are “in love” with you, when they, in fact, are just a little obsessed with the attention you may be giving her. So yes, pay attention to her and talk to her, but don’t spend all your time doing it.

9. Try to have some of the Same Interests

Try to have some of the Same Interests

The girl you’re after may be in cheerleading or dance classes, but she also may be into the drama club, band, basketball, or something you can at least try to relate to. Don’t force it, of course– but putting forth a little effort to try and do what she enjoys doing can later be used as an excuse to spend time with one another! Who knows; you may even end up finding a new hobby that you love and enjoy!

10. Don’t Change Yourself

This sort of goes hand in hand with being yourself; you should never change who you are for some girl you likely won’t even remember 20 years from now. If some girl is conditioning you to change yourself just so you may can have a chance with her, then she definitely isn’t worth it. There are girls out there who will appreciate you for exactly who you are and they won’t even bat an eye at your unique personality quirks.

Just remember, it goes both ways; don’t go and try to change a girl just because she isn’t 100% your type. If you go around looking for a girl who meets all of your preferences, then you will likely never find anybody!

Dating in Middle School: Need To Know

There are a LOT of factors that play into “dating” in middle school, and it can pose as a rather difficult task if you have strict parents. Chaperoned dates, supervised hangouts at one another’s houses, and drilling questions from parents on both sides can serve as potential obstacles for your newborn dating life, but as long as you approach everything with caution and respect, you shouldn’t face any real problems.

Respect Parents’ Wishes

Respect Parents’ Wishes

If you’ve found the perfect girl and you both have feelings for each other, you will want to move your relationship on from just hanging out in the schoolyard to actually going places with each other, and meeting families.

Chances are, your girl’s parents aren’t going to be super thrilled that their little girl has suddenly taken an interest in boys, so you have to be EXTRA careful with her mom and dad. Respect their rules, don’t try and be sneaky, and always be courteous and respectful to them and their daughter when you are in their home especially.

You’ll Likely Get Your Heart Broken

It’s middle school– you really need to accept the fact that no matter how you feel about a girl, you likely won’t marry her. That’s okay though! Everyone needs to experience a little childhood breakup once or twice in order to establish their future dating life. It will hurt like hell, but you will overcome it and move on a lot quicker than you realize.

Girls Change Their Minds Like They Change Their Clothes

Girls Change Their Minds Like They Change Their Clothes

You may have scored the girl today, but next week, she may decide she’s really just not that into you, and find someone else she likes a little bit more. Don’t let that ruin your self-esteem– even though it hurts to know you put forth all that effort into getting with this one girl, just know it is NOT you; it’s her.

Girls who are going through this critical developmental stage in their lives have no idea what they want at this point in time, and they will do whatever their confused little heart tells them to do. Be prepared for the worst, and don’t dedicate all your time to one girl when you don’t know how she will feel tomorrow.

This “Love” is Likely Chemicals in your Brain

When you are an adolescent going through puberty, your body will begin experiencing all types of emotions you have never felt before. This is all normal, and although you think you are absolutely head over heels in love with your classmate, you can almost guarantee that the chemicals that produce happiness in your brain are overactive due to your changing body, and this “love” is just a chemical reaction.

One day you’re in love with Katie, but a week or two later you find yourself pining over Samantha, but another week later and you’re feeling Veronica. The pre-teenage body is a mysterious work of art, and after a year or two of raging hormones, you will balance out a little better. Again, this is all normal!

Don’t Waste Your Time– Look for Signs She Likes You!

There are a ton of signs that a girl is starting to show interest in you, so you don’t have to blatantly ask her if she is interested. This is a bit of a turn off, so you just need to look for context clues to ensure she has the same feelings for you. Here is a video to help you figure out exactly what you should look for!


  • Dating in middle school will give you some experience with romantic feelings so you will be better prepared for more serious relationships in high school and beyond
  • Getting your heart broken really sucks, but it can prepare you for more serious heartbreak as you get older
  • When you “date” girls in middle school, you may find that you are not right for each other, but you might make some meaningful and lasting friendships along the way, if your breakup doesn’t end badly
  • Having certain freedoms and restrictions can help teach your respect, boundaries and knowing the difference between actual consent and the meaning of the word “no”


  • Heartbreak and heartache are inevitable and serve as a rite of passage during this point of your life. You can overcome any sadness within a matter of days or weeks, depending on how rough it went
  • The girl you are interested in may have extra strict parents who have set a minimum “dating” age for her, so you may not actually get to date the girl of your dreams. It really can suck, but if you truly have strong feelings for this girl, it will be so worth the wait. Just remain friends with her, get to know her parents and family, earn their respect and watch the rest fall into place!


Having to endure the pain and heartache of puberty, middle school and a sudden interest in girls, when just last year you were calling them icky with cooties, can be a LOT on such a young spirit. However, a lot of the occurrences during middle school are necessary evils that you can either choose to wallow in, or take them as lessons and examples to use further on in your life.

Everything that middle school dating life throws at you can be taken as an important life lesson that you can look back on and appreciate as an adult. You will overcome this, and you can manage to get the girl of your dreams with just a little effort, being yourself, and SOAP!

Also check out our detailed guides on the best teen dating sites and introvert dating sites.

angela carpenter writer for romance scams
Written by Angela Carpenter

Angela Kaye Carpenter has a knack in writing about relationships. She brings years of expertise in this space. She has served as the Sr Marketing Copywriter at JDS Marketing, and Marketing and Content Writer at Vertu Marketing, Offix, Suburban Snapshot, and The Gillenwater Group. You can find her on Twitter. Read more of Angela's articles.

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