Today, everyone has an account on a dating site online somewhere. Sometimes this happens even when someone is in a relationship! In this age of easy social connection, it’s more common now than ever to have a cheating partner, and dating sites are usually a big part in that. It doesn’t make them wrong for everyone, but it’s a cause of concern for many spouses and partners.
Have you ever wondered if the person you’re dating is using dating apps online? This is a common concern, especially if you met them originally through an app or site for dating online. The anonymity and convenience of online dating makes infidelity easier, so if you are starting to see some early warning signs, keep looking!
These 12 methods will help you get your answers, and may be the proof you need to make a decision about your relationship. Keep reading on how to find out if someone is on a dating site.
12 Methods For Finding Out if Someone is on a Dating Site
Having fears of infidelity is one of the worst feelings in the world. Sometimes, our insecurities and past experiences can take over and make us believe that we are in a bad situation, or we’re lied to. Sometimes… this is truly the case.
If you want to discreetly find out if your partner is using a dating site for fun on the side, these 12 methods are lowkey and a bit sneaky, so you probably won’t set off any alarms if you’re careful.
1. Watch their phone habits
Does your partner often flip their phone upside-down so you can’t see the screen, and possible incoming notifications? Do they take their cell with them everywhere, even in the bathroom? Do they sleep with it in hand or hidden under their pillow and hard to reach? If so, this is probably some suspicious behavior, and it’s worth checking up on.
2. Check their sleep schedule
If your partner used to go to bed when you did, or even before, and now has suddenly changed their pattern of sleep… that could be a bad sign. Unfaithful partners who are on social media suddenly have a night owl spirit, staying up later than you, and maybe even disappearing for random “gas station” or “fast food” trips. Being up late on the phone may indicate they’re on a dating site.
3. Pay attention to the names on their phone
How many coworkers of the opposite sex can your partner really be texting on a regular basis? If you’ve been together for a long time, you’ll probably already recognize most of the names in your partner’s phone, so if you start to see several new names… it may be time to ask some questions.
4. Search for singles in your area online
The only real way to confirm they are using a dating site is to find their profile online. If you’re convinced and need the proof for yourself, make a blank account and start looking through dating sites you believe are being used by your partner. Swipe, swipe, swipe… search anyone within a few miles of you. Worst case scenario? You find their account.
5. Ask a friend
Do you have a friend who uses dating sites and apps? Maybe you can ask them to keep an eye out for your honey! They may raise their eyebrows and ask questions, but if you trust them to keep your suspicions quiet, you’ll get help and ensure you have someone there who understands if you do discover the worst.
6. Notice the pictures they take
Is your partner suddenly fussing over their pictures, and taking them more often? Maybe they have dressed up for no reason and you notice them taking pictures without you. This isn’t always suspicious behavior, of course, but if it’s out of character for them… it could be an early sign of dating site usage.
7. Check the likes on their social media pictures and statuses
Though this one is a bit of a slippery slope, your questions may be answered by seeing if any new people are giving your partner lots of attention on Facebook. Is there new, frequent likes for opposite sex users that you don’t recognize? Keep in mind, this is a bit of a reach, and you shouldn’t take this on it’s own as a sign of infidelity.
8. Ask them about it
There is really no better way than addressing your concerns than just being honest about it with your partner. Ask them if they’re on dating apps, explain your side, and try to believe what they say. If they respond with a lot of defensiveness, you may already be given the answer you were dreading… but many of times, you’ll discover you worried for nothing.
9. Contact the phone company
Some phone companies will provide phone logs to share-holders on the account. Depending on what information they can release, you can get call history, app usage percentages, and sometimes even text messages. Calling your provider and explaining the situation and getting those logs and records can get you to the bottom of the mystery, but it may really upset your partner if they’re innocent.
10. Hire an investigator
If things get really bad, you may need external help. Some private investigators specialize in cheating partners. They’ll be able to quickly locate any trace of their presence on dating sites and apps, as well as track those behaviors into the real world to discover if ay true acts of adultery have been committed against you. Be warned, these are usually expensive hires.
11. Pay attention to their phone usage
Drastic changes to the amount of time that is spend texting or on their phone can be a reason for concern. It doesn’t always mean they’re cheating or using dating apps, but it could be a sign of disinterest in your relationship. Even if they’re not on a dating app, try to spice things up to get their eyes back on you!
12. Ask to borrow their phone when yours dies
This piggy-backs off of the other phone-related methods, but wait for your charge to run out when you’re with your partner and ask to borrow theirs. If they have something to hide, they’ll be defensive and find excuses for why you can’t use theirs. When you use it for whatever you need, swipe through the screens to see if you can see a thumbnail for the dating app you’re worried about.
You should never sneak through someone else’s personal belongings without their knowledge and permission. As tempting as it may be to snoop through a phone when they’re out of the room, this could have pretty serious consequences, and it’s an invasion of privacy. Rise above and be the better person, without breaking potential boundaries or laws, in some cases.
What To Do If You Find Their Dating Profile
Of course the end goal you hope to achieve is to discover that your partner is not on dating sites. In an ideal world, this would always be the outcome… but reality isn’t quite as kind. For an unlucky few, they’ll find the alleged dating profile.
After you find their profile, emotions are high. You’ll be dealing with hurt, anger, and broken trust pretty severely, and it’s hard to keep an even mind through that. However, it’s important you go about confronting the subject the right way.
Take a little while to catch your breath and cool your head. Calling up your partner while they’re at work or waking them in the middle of the night in a fit of rage isn’t the best way to handle the situation. Instead, make sure you give yourself a buffer period to let the intensity of the emotions pass.
Considering talking to a trusted friend during this time, or seeking out advice and help from those who have experienced the same thing as you. When you feel a bit more calm and stable, it’s time to confront your partner and bring the evidence to their attention.
During this conversation, ask the questions you want to ask… but don’t beat around a deadhorse. Constant guilt-tripping, accusing, name-calling, or other forms of punishment you may be trying to pass on to your partner won’t help either of you. Get your questions answered and take a break.
The Next Step
Deciding what to do next is entirely your choice. There is no “right way” to handle this, or a “wrong way” to react. You want to keep things mature and civil, but past that… you have to decide for yourself what you need to do. If you can’t trust the person you’re with, it can be hard to have a successful relationship. Work through your options together. Even when you’re hurt and feeling betrayed, it’s important to listen to them, too. Don’t fall for any excuses or allow them to manipulate the blame onto you, but instead, identify the problems within the relationship and work together for solutions on how to fix it.