Men love a good challenge. The more a woman says she’s not interested, the more determined he becomes to woe her. But is this always the case? Teasing is a tricky game. Some men love it while others find it straight up frustrating. Playing hard to get (and ultimately getting what you want) is an art form.
Are you ready to learn the right (and wrong) way to tease a man and how to play hard to get without losing him? Reapply your lip gloss, flip your hair, and let’s get started!
Why Men Like Being Teased
So, why do some men like being teased? It’s partially the thrill of the chase, but it’s also about wanting a girlfriend or mate that’s playful and fun. No one likes a stick in the mud! For guys who worry about having an old ball and chain to lug around, a girl who teases him and keeps him on his toes is exactly what he’s looking for.
It’s also a turn-on. Biting your bottom lip, walking away with a certain wiggle so you can feel his eyes burning into your back, and stroking his leg or knee without touching his package are all ways to get his blood pumping. Think of teasing like foreplay, amplified.
Believe it or not, there’s also an emotional connection developed through teasing and playing hard to get. Playful teasing and flirting help two people develop a friendship and bond outside the physical attraction. Joking around leads to laughter, which leads to having a good time without having sex. Playing hard to get also adds an element of curiosity and surprise to any new relationship. As the man tries to get to know you and break through your mysterious exterior, he learns more new and amazing things about you every day. It’s like unwrapping the layers of an amazing gift!
How to Play Hard to Get Without Him Losing Interest
This is the biggest challenge women face when playing hard to get. Tease him a little and he’ll be putty in your hands. Tease him too much and he’ll lose interest. Here are a few tips for playing hard to get without pushing him away.
Give Him Just the Right Amount of Attention
Remember how we said that men love the thrill of the chase? If you make it overly obvious that you’re crazy about your guy, he’ll get bored — quick! He needs to work for your attention. Don’t fawn all over him every chance you get. If he comes out dressed to the nines for a date and smelling amazing, let him know he looks good but only say it once. Look him up and down and finish with a simple, “I like it”. Keep it brief and complimentary.
If he’s clearly had a bad day, it’s okay to give him a massage, make him dinner, or let him choose the movie. But don’t pamper him TOO much. Men get way too comfortable with being the center of attention and before long, your generosity becomes an expectation and you might find yourself being taken advantage of.
The trick here is to not deprive him of too much attention, or your teasing game will backfire. He’ll either think you’re no longer interested or, even worse, find that much-needed attention and affection elsewhere!
Don’t Show Him All of You All at Once
No, we aren’t talking about undressing slowly in the bedroom. Sex when playing hard to get has its own set of rules (which we’ll get to in a minute). This tip has more to do with not showing him your emotional hand all at once. Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve, so to speak.
There’s nothing more overwhelming to a guy than a girl who pours her heart out and shares her entire life story on a first date. This makes you appear desperate and maybe even a little crazy. It’s fine to tell him about your family, your job, and where you went to school. But he doesn’t need to hear about your most recent breakup, the time you lost your virginity, or how your friend Beth is a backstabbing bitch.
Make him work for it. Show him tiny bits of your personality slowly. Keep him wanting more. He should be eager and curious to take you out again and learn something else about you that he didn’t know before. The more he uncovers, the more interested and turned on he’ll be. This builds both the emotional and physical connection even more.
Respect Both of Your Space and Distance
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Nothing is worse than smothering a man or being smothered by one. We get it, though. Things are new and exciting. You can’t get enough of each other. He’s the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last person on your mind before you close your eyes. And while that’s fine, you can’t always act on your impulse to be with him 24/7. In fact, you shouldn’t!
Respecting his space is also about respecting your own. You both are your own person. You have individual interests, friends, hobbies, and lives. When you enter into a relationship, you’re welcoming another person into your life, not letting them take over. Showing your man that you have a life of your own is actually a turn-on. An independent woman with her own unique interests is incredibly sexy. Not being readily available at his beck-and-call also reminds him that he’s lucky you’re making time for him in your busy schedule.
Encourage him to hang out with his buddies, take a road trip to see an old friend, or just enjoy a lazy night at home, alone. And you should do the same for yourself! Plan girl’s nights, spend time with your family, and hit the gym alone. Another tip is not to answer your phone or texts during your alone time. And don’t text him during his! Give both of yourselves much-needed space. As hard as this might be, it’ll make your time together all the more special.
Make Him Wait for Sex
It’s advice that you’re mom probably ingrained into your brain – “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” In short, if you give up sex too soon, the guy won’t feel the need to actually woe you or enter into a relationship. As much as we hate when our parents are right, there is some truth to this.
First off, the sexual tension you feel before you have sex for the first time is intoxicating. That desire that starts in the pit of your stomach and flows throughout your entire body. Making him wait for sex doesn’t mean you need to wear a chastity belt! You can certainly engage in plenty of heavy petting and other sex acts without going all the way. Not only does this keep the spark alive, but it also shows your man that you respect yourself, your body, and the potential for a serious future together.
Once you two venture into a more physical relationship you can play around with different teasing and pleasing techniques in the bedroom. Things like role-playing and edgeplay are perfect ways to keep the excitement alive long after the thrill of the hunt is over.
Learning How to Tease and Please Your Man
Playing hard to get is all about reading cues and getting to know your man on a few different levels. Don’t smother him but don’t ignore him so much that he’s left wondering if you like him at all. Enjoy your time together but also respect his space and your own individuality.
The best way to keep yourself in check is to remember that the guy you find is a great addition to your already fulfilling life, he shouldn’t become the center of it. Also, keep your eye peeled for guys just looking for a hook-up (unless that’s all you want, too) or other sketchy business. Beware of dating and hook-up scams that could leave both your heart and your wallet broke!