Ladies, how many times have you wondered to yourself, “Why doesn’t he miss me the way that I miss him?” You might even scour the internet and call your friends looking for advice on how to make him miss you. Missing a guy who doesn’t really seem to be missing you can be difficult, especially if you two have had a fight and he is keeping his distance.
There are several simple truths about men that can make relationships hard until you understand them. One, he will always need his space. A man stepping back to take a breath away from you is truly a normal thing and your reaction to it can make or break the relationship. Men need time to themselves and time with their friends, and our ability to give them this can make us even more attractive to them.
With this ultimate guide on how to make him miss you, we can help you see just how you can rekindle that spark and make him be just as anxious to spend time with you as you are with him. Of course, if you want him to miss you, you will need to give him his space first.
He cannot miss someone who hasn’t been gone long enough to miss. Don’t let yourself look desperate for his attention. Find something to do to keep your mind occupied while he has time to realize what he is missing! Here are some important tips.
How to Make Him Miss You After a Fight
So you two have had a fight, and now he is keeping his distance. It wasn’t just a little fight, either, it was a knock-down-drag-out in which you both said things that you wish you could take back. In fact, you’ve picked up the phone a million times now to call him and apologize for the nasty things that you said to him, but you slam it back down when you think of all that he said to you.
- Don’t Contact Him – First of all, do NOT pick up that phone and dial his number. Don’t text him, don’t email him, don’t message him on social media, don’t call his friends … don’t even send smoke signals. He cannot miss you if you don’t stay away. Giving him time to calm down and get over the fight is vital to making him miss you and want to spend time with you again.
- Don’t Seem Needy – You may be afraid that staying away will allow the wounds to fester and will end with you two breaking up. The thing is, you have to keep things casual and do not come across as needy and clingy. If you cannot even give him time to cool down after a fight, then he will start to feel smothered and will run away even further and faster. If he doesn’t hear from you, he may actually start to worry himself.
- Do Some Introspecting – Focus on you while you are staying away from him. Staying busy is the best way to keep yourself from pushing him farther away. Take this time away from him to focus on what you want from this relationship, why the fight happened in the first place, and how you can make it better when you do come back together.
- Be Honest About Blame – You must be honest with yourself about the part you played in all of this and what you could have done to avoid fighting with him as well. While it is probably true that he hurt you and you might feel that it is all his fault, chances are that he is hurting, too, and that the blame likely lies with the both of you, and not just one.
How To Make Him Miss You After a Break-Up
Trying to make him miss you after a break-up is much like trying to make him miss you after a fight, except that the stakes are a bit higher because one or both of you could be dating others. Of course, odds are that if you are wanting him to miss you, then you want to fix things and get back together with him. The first step in making this happen, ironically, is not to try to make it happen.
- Men Like To Be The Chaser – This fact may sound a bit confusing or even pointless, but the truth is, the more he sees that you are trying to get back together with him, the less chance you will ever have of getting him back. This is true for two reasons. One, most men like the thrill of the chase. It is in their DNA. If they are chasing something, their instinct is that it must be good for them. If something is chasing them, however, then their instinct is to run from it, never to it.
- Keep This a Private Mission – Knowing that men want to chase and not be chased means that you should not be sending messages to him that tells him just how much you love him, how worried you are, how much you miss him, or that you want him back. You shouldn’t be making announcements to anyone that you are planning to get him back. Keep this mission to yourself and make it your own private quest to get him back but try your best to keep him from knowing that this is your plan.
- Enjoy the Single Life – As much as you may not want to, it is a very good idea after a breakup to get back out into the world and live your life as a single person again. This may be a case of “fake it till you make it,” and you might have to just pretend to be having a good time until one night you realize that you are. While it isn’t a good idea to jump into a rebound relationship, casual dating may be a good idea for several reasons. It can remind you how attractive you are, it can get your mind off of missing him, and it can show him what he might be losing.
- Wield Your Weapons Wisely – Jealousy can be a powerful weapon, but only when it is wielded properly. Jumping into a bad relationship or being obvious about flaunting a new guy could make you lose both men. But by simply going out casually and allowing yourself to have fun, you can show him that other men find you desirable and that if he doesn’t step up, he will be losing out. Chances are extremely good that he will hear through the grapevine how well you are doing without him. There is no need to flaunt it. Just enjoy it.
Make Him Miss You and Give Him Space
It can be very difficult knowing what to do if your guy tells you that he needs space. As much as it may go against every instinct that you have, the simplest answer, and the very first step in making him miss you, is that if your man asks for space, give it to him. Give him space immediately and without argument. Don’t be cold, don’t act angry about it, just nonchalantly provide him with exactly what he is asking for… give him space.
- Don’t Ask Him Why – One of the first things that your mind will want to know is, “Why?” Don’t ask him this question. It is not likely that you will get a straight answer, and your asking will only make him defensive. There are a number of reasons why a man asks for space, but you are not likely to get the answer by asking him. You are more likely to come across as clingy and whiny. You may wonder if he is wanting to break up.
- He May Care More Than You Know – That he’s seeking a breakup could be the case. It could also be that he simply needs a chance to adjust to new feelings that he is having for you which may have become stronger than he had anticipated. If this is the case, you don’t want to blow it by turning his need for time to process into a fight about why he wants to be away from you. Just give him the space he is asking for.
- Don’t Be Ruled by Fear – Don’t allow your fear of losing him to cause you to do just that…lose him. By allowing negative feelings to control you, you will be much more likely to push him away than to pull him closer. When he met you, chances are that you were exciting, independent, and positive. Those are likely some of the qualities which drew him to you in the first place. Let him miss you by remaining that strong and confident woman, with or without him.
- Practice Self-Care – It is important during the time that you are giving him the space he asked for that you take time to take care of you. Find things to do that occupy your time and mind. Pamper yourself with a mani-pedi, buy a new outfit, get a new hairstyle… there are several ways that you can make yourself feel better that don’t involve contacting him. And just imagine how sexy you are going to look when he does see you again if you have been practicing self-care instead if sitting in bed all day crying over him and eating ice cream.
Make Him Miss You Long Distance
Making him miss you long distance can be a bit difficult for some women to carry out. After all, there is less chance of him hearing anything about you through the grapevine if you two don’t travel in the same vineyards. There is little chance that he will see you in the city somewhere with your new hairstyle sporting a new outfit. All you have in long-distance relationships are usually texting, calling, and video chat. You can’t utilize those if you have gone no contact or he is asking for space.
- Be Unavailable Sometimes – One thing that you can do, however, is to not always be available when he wants you to. Don’t stop everything at the drop of a hat just to take his call or be there for his video chat. If you are always rushing to do his bidding, there is a good chance that he will take advantage of it and expect you to do so. As much as you might always be dying to hear from him, there must be times when you are simply not available. If you always come running when he calls, he never has the chance to miss you.
- Let Him Contact You First – You should also make sure that you are not always the one who does the calling, texting, etc. first. Is your phone the very first thing that you reach for when you wake up? Is texting him goodnight the last thing that you do before falling asleep? If so, you might want to reconsider those actions if you are truly wanting him to miss you. Take a step back and wait and see if he will contact you first. In the morning when you wake, don’t immediately text or call him, and see how long it takes for him to make that move.
- Break Your Routine – Of course. It can be hard to let go of things that have become your routine. If it has become a habit to wait by the phone or laptop for your guy, then changing your ways might take some work. There are many things that you can do to help you focus on allowing him time to miss you. Plan a girls’ night with friends that you haven’t had a chance to see for a while. Better yet, take a trip somewhere and put the phone down long enough to enjoy the new scenery.
- Post All Over Facebook and Instagram – You might wonder what good it will do for you to do all of this if he isn’t there to see what you are doing. There are ways around that problem. While you are out on your adventures, make sure to post lots of pictures to social media about how much fun you’re having. Let him see how happy you can be even when he is not in the picture.
- Be Someone He Can Miss – When he sees that your happiness does not depend on him, chances are he will be drawn to you even more. This also gives him a chance to see how sexy you are, smiling and laughing in your photos. And yes, you could use this opportunity to show off that flirty new outfit. When you speak to him next, you can mention to him that you’ve been enjoying yourself, but don’t ask him if he saw the pictures. Let him mention it, or it will look obvious to him that you are trying to affect him.
- Wait to Respond, Even if He Messages First – Another thing you might want to try if you want him to miss you long distance is to wait a while before responding to his texts and voicemails. I know this one is even harder than not always being available, but it will give his mind a chance to wonder what you are doing and if you miss him… in other words, you will be putting him through exactly what you are going through. This is an especially vital thing to do if he doesn’t always respond to your texts and calls. It will help keep you from looking needy or like you are more desperate for him than he is for you.
In closing, it is important to remember that although we may not always want to admit it, guys are very different from women. While we may privately pine away for the guy we are in love with, men may need a little bit of reminding about what you mean to them and how much better their world is with you in it. It is natural for him to try to be more independent, so the fact that he doesn’t seem to be missing you as much as you miss him does not mean that he isn’t really into you. It just means that his instincts work differently than yours.
While you may lay there and fantasize that he is miserable without you and misses you desperately, the truth is that a needy and clingy man would not be a turn on to most women. The very thing which attracts us to them is often their strength, independence, and stubborn male pride. Those very qualities can make him seem like he doesn’t miss you at all when you are apart, making the thing that attracted you in the first place into the thing that is driving you crazy now. Odds are, however, that things are not as they seem. He is likely missing you just as bad, but he doesn’t really know how to admit it to himself, much less to you. By giving him the space to process these feelings and by letting him see that you are okay without him, you also give him the chance to relax and come to terms with the fact that he does want you in his life, and that it would be empty without you. In other words, by taking a step back from showing how much you miss him, you make him realize just how much he misses you.
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