Gay Dating Scams in 2023: Things to Know and Protection

Online dating for the gay community can sometimes be sketchy. Check out these tips to prevent yourself from falling victim of gay dating scams.

Dating scams happen to anyone, and the gay dating scene is no different. Dating scams within the gay community are at an all-time high, due to apps like Grindr. It is not the dating app itself, which has lots of great features, but the people using it. This doesn’t mean avoiding Grindr will solve this issue. You need to take the necessary precautions to avoid this in the first place so you can use apps like Grindr or the many others, safely. 

This is especially a bad situation for the lesbian and gay community because some of these people may not have came out publicly with their sexuality yet, leading to very gay dating scams. So what can you put into practice to avoid this? Let’s take a look at proven ways to use and things to look for to prevent this from happening to you.

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Gay Dating Scams: Typical Formats

Here are the most common formats that scammers love to use. We want you to be informed. Keep reading.

Sugar Daddy/Momma

Sugar Daddy/Momma

By far one of the most popular scams on gay dating websites, this scam involves someone posing as an older person, usually older than 50, who then reaches out to much younger people in hopes to catch their next victim. But how does this work? You must first understand what a sugar momma or daddy is. The basic rundown is that they give money to younger people in exchange for intimate favor’s, both offline and online. 

This starts with the scammer reaching out to the victim and explaining his needs and wants to the victim. With some people readily wanting to take advantage of this opportunity, the sugar daddy’s power is in a special position to reel in victims with ease. Once the sugar daddy poser has his victim on his hook, he starts reeling him in by sweet talking and explaining how much he would like to get to know the victim better. 

Could you be a victim of a Gay Dating Scam? Click here to search…

The scam begins when the sugar daddy poser asks the victim to go and buy something such as a iTunes card. They will create a variety of reasons why they want you to buy one, and will ask you to send them the code on the back, but this is definitely something to look out for; click here to read a story about a similar situation relating to iTunes gift cards. The next most common scam in relation to this is when they ask you to go and buy a prepaid money card. 

They will explain that once you buy the card, and load the required money onto it in order to activate it, then you will be able to load the check onto it once you receive it in the mail. He will then ask you to give him the banking details with some sort of story, which usually isn’t so hard for the scammer to get once the victim has already gone this far. This may seem obvious to some, but you wouldn’t believe how commonly very smart people fall for this. Be watchful.

Underage Tactics

Underage Tactics

Definitely a scary situation to be in. This scam involves a person posing as a younger boy or girl, usually around the age of 18-21. They will begin reaching out to older men and even occasionally women, in hopes of finding a sugar daddy/momma. At first, they do not appear underage, but this quickly takes a turn. The scam begins when the two connect and start chatting about their plans. Often, the scammer may make excuses over time about why he cannot meet, while being very intimate within messages. This includes explicit photos, text, and even voice messages, although the voice messages are not really the scammers. 

The scary part starts when the scammer explains to the sugar daddy that if he doesn’t want to get reported to the authorities for talking to an underage person in a very explicit way, even though the sugar daddy had no idea this person was “underage”, then the sugar daddy must send over a large sum of money. This number can vary, but it can be into the upper thousands range sometimes. It is crucial to always be wary of anything that seems odd. This scam saves the scammer because it is obvious that no sugar daddy would report this to the authorities, a very scary situation to find yourself in.

Could you be a victim of a Gay Dating Scam? Click here to search…

Birthday Gifts

Another popular scam is the birthday gift scam. This may not sound instantly sketchy compared to the others listed, but you will often know it is a scam almost immediately after the question is asked. The conversation will begin as usual just like any other conversation; however, after a few days or weeks, the scammer will mention that it is his or her birthday and explain how they won’t have any gifts. They will ask you for money in order to buy a gift, or use the money to go to dinner with a family member or friend. 



Imagine this scenario. You are browsing your dating website of choice, match with someone and begin a beautiful conversation, which leads to both of you wanting to meet so you can get to know each other better. However, a problem quickly arises for the person you’d like to meet. They explain how they don’t have a car and need to take a Uber in order to come see you, so they ask if you could send the money to them. This is probably the most undetectable scam on this list, because not having personal transportation is a normal occurrence in this generation.

Avoiding Calls

Almost all scammers avoid phone calls to their victims, so this is definitely something to look out for. Sure, some people prefer to chat for at least a week before calling a match on the phone, but after this occurs for more than two weeks, this should be cause for concern. Dating websites are specifically made to match people so they can meet and connect; so when someone avoids a simple phone call, this is almost always a scam. 

A few reasons for this other than the hassle of the scammer having to create a fake and location protected number is because their voice may not match their profile photo or the number may not match their location, such as the city next to you. The same thing goes for video calls, but this scam explains itself. It would automatically expose the person as a scammer, unless they are using their own photo, which is highly unlikely.

Explicit Photos

Explicit Photos

Another major scam that affects many people begins as usual, with the scammer reaching out to the victim. This particular scam involves the scammer sending the victim explicit photos, who then ask the victim for some in return. Once the victim sends over the photos, the scammer will begin blackmailing him with threats such as outing this person to their family members, including showing the victim’s family the explicit photos and, if the victim has not come out with his or her sexuality yet, they will threaten to out that as well.

You could imagine that this is definitely not a situation anyone would want to be in. The scammer will request money in order to prevent this from happening, and even once the scammer gets the money the first time, it could continue on for longer. A valuable lesson to learn from this is to never send explicit photos to someone you don’t know very well.

Could you be a victim of a Gay Dating Scam? Click here to search…

Things to Remember for Gay Dating Scams

Never send money

It should go without saying that sending money should never be considered. Sending money to online crushes has led many people into bankruptcy and will almost always come with negative side effects.

Do not send explicit photos

People have been sending explicit photos for years, however, especially today in a world full of scammers whose main goal it is to blackmail, you should never send any photos that you may regret in the future.

Never give over any personal information

Once scammers have you on their hook, they will try to sometimes have you send them your banking details or personal information, such as your SSN. This can cause major problems and sometimes even long-term legal issues, so avoid doing this at all cost.

Could you be a victim of a Gay Dating Scam? Click here to search…

A Gay Dating Scam: Dallas’s Story

Dallas's Story

Dallas decided to hop on Grindr one day in search for a little fun with possibly finding a date, however, things quickly took a turn.

Dallas started chatting with a 20 year old claiming to have a girlfriend, causing him to be discreet about his online dating venture. They began exchanging photos, and once Dallas sent over an explicit photo to the scammer, he fell into the trap and began being blackmailed. The scammer’s “mother” contacted Dallas explaining that, in fact, her son was actually only 15 years old. Dallas then found himself scammed out of $800 after sending it to the scammer, in hopes of them staying quiet about the explicit photos.

At one point, a man even approached Dallas at his workplace requesting money. A truly scary situation to be in. However, Dallas ended up going to the authorities and contacting a lawyer to settle this once and for all. This should be nothing less than a lesson for anyone thinking about sending explicit photos on the internet, because it may backfire on them very quickly.

Could You Be A Victim Of A Gay Dating Scam?!

It is important that you perform a quick background search on who you are actually speaking to on the internet (you can do that here) to see whether you are being conned into getting a security/hookup ID. The common questions that spring to mind are:

  • Are they using fake identities?
  • Am I really speaking to a real person from the USA?

To help the users of this site we have partnered with BeenVerified so you can search exactly that. This searching service may help reveal almost everything about this romance scammer and if they are a real person!

Helpful Information Available on BeenVerified:

  • Criminal Records (Please search this!)
  • Photos  (Helps search if same photos are used for multiple profiles with different names)
  • Email Addresses
  • Phone Numbers
  • Social Profiles (IMPORTANT – Do they have a real social profile or multiple)
  • Home Addresses
  • Relatives & Associates
  • Sex Offenders Register (Be safe who you are meeting!)
  • And More…

If you have the slightest doubt about who you are speaking to… Please use this service!

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bryan rucker writer for romancescams
Written by Bryan Rucker

Brian Rucker writes about all things related to online dating and lifestyle. He has written hundreds of articles, specializing in online dating scams, and has written other fun and exciting topics in the online dating space. Read more of Bryan's articles.

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