Have you started to notice you’re the recipient of special treatment at work by a coworker? Maybe you’ve started to flirt with someone at work, and you’re trying to decide if they’ve started giving you signals in return. If you need a sign that this was a heaven-made match, read on!
Do They Like You?
Sometimes it’s hard to differentiate kindness from affection. In many cases, someone is just very friendly, or may have a naturally flirty personality. In other instances, you may have some wishful thinking bending reality to fit a fantasy.
If you’re trying to figure out if a coworker likes you, these 15 ways can help give you a pretty good idea on what they’re feeling. Make sure you watch how they act with others, too, though so you can see if your treatment is special or not.
Top 15 Ways To Tell If Your Coworker Has a Crush
While reading this masterlist of all the ways to determine if the workplace hottie is crushing on you, make a mental inventory in your mind of all the things that apply. If you start seeing several of these telltale signs of affection frequently, they’ve got it bad for you!
1. They text you after work
Chatting with coworkers on the clock is just part of the job, but when someone’s interest in talking to you extends beyond 5pm, it may be more than just friendly. If their messages are about things that could’ve easily been discussed at your next shift, it means they were thinking of you and desired your attention!
2. They’ll join you on lunch break
Now, you probably have a group of friends you eat with, or maybe it’s a situation where breaks are staggered. If you notice your work crush finding a way to schedule their break when you take yours, and they come and join you… we’re looking at a serious workplace romance here!
3. They bring you coffee
Many office romances start with the simple act of grabbing an extra coffee and stopping by someone’s desk to deliver it. Maybe they catch you yawning and ask if you need a pick-me-up, or they take a slightly detour on their way to get a cup of joe for themselves to ask if you need some, too. Either way, if you’re getting a special caffeine delivery, they probably are crushing on you and want some attention!
4. They memorized your coffee order
Going a step further, your coworker may have memorized your coffee order to make it easier to bring you those caffeine favors in the future. Have they ever surprised you by bringing just the right amount of creme and sugar with your hazelnut latte? If so, they’re definitely paying more attention than considered normal, and the most obvious explanation is that they have a crush on you.
5. They’ll ask a lot of questions
Making conversation usually includes a fair share of questions. Sometimes about the weather, or how the weekend was, or an upcoming work event… other times, it’s very professional. If you notice your coworker making an active effort to ask questions that aren’t smalltalk or related to the job, they may like you. Especially notice this sign if their questions are geared towards small things you’ve mentioned before; did you cat have a runny nose last week you may have mentioned? If they remembered and cared enough to check in, they may have feelings for you.
6. You catch their eyes on you
Sure, an office or other work environment can get extremely boring to look at. You’re there 5 days of the week, for hours at a time, and usually… very little changes. If you’re one of the lucky ones that gets an environmental change of scenery often, congratulations! However, if you’re not, you know the struggle… and you probably have some wandering eyes yourself. Ask yourself how many times you’ve caught your coworker idly looking at you. If it’s more than 3 this week, they’ve got it bad, and you’re the prettiest thing to look at around you.
7. Lots of body language signs
Reading someone by the way they move is almost an art form, and sometimes it can be confusing. You are often within close proximity of your coworker, and by now, you have probably started to pick up on their natural body language. Pay attention to the way they carry themselves, or for any signs of nervous behavior, next time you suspect they are flirting with you. Do their toes point your way? Are they fidgety and restless? Do they make an effort to touch you casually, such as a shoulder pat? These could be signs of attraction!
8. They compliment you often
Without encouraging forms of sexual harassment, taking notice of genuinely kind compliments is a good way to get wind of interest someone may have in you. Inappropriate comments should never be tolerated or taken lightly, but if you know the intentions behind your co-worker’s sweet words, such as letting you know your hair looks great that day, it could be a sign of a little crush. Once or twice is pretty standard, but weekly compliments indicate they spend a lot of time admiring you.
9. They express interest in your life outside of work
The best thing about being friends with your coworkers? You’re basically paid to hang out together, and it’s mandatory… so you don’t really have to pretend you care about their life outside of the job. You probably don’t want to hear much about their cat’s antics or if they got new shoes, but someone with a crush actually cares about those things. Anytime extra interest is expressed on what happens off the clock, you should look closer… this is a good sign they like you.
10. You are given a cute nickname by them
I may be the only one, but I think nicknames are one of the prime examples of crush behavior. The cuter the nickname, the bigger the crush. Maybe that isn’t always true, but in a professional environment, if a nickname is created… it probably symbolizes a pretty close bond. Deciding if this is friendship or romantic can be differentiated by the nature of the pet name, and the way it’s used towards you!
11. They notice when you’re out sick
Everyone has an “off day”. Either sick, or a conflicting appointment, or even an emergency… we all take surprise, sudden days off and call in. If you have a coworker take special notice of your absence, it means they care. Someone with a particularly noticeable crush may reach out with a phone call or visit to ensure you’re doing alright, and may offer to help you recover from whatever prevented your presence at work. A shy crush may wait to check on you when you return in a day or two from your sick time off.
12. You get more attention than other coworkers
Outside of projects, meetings, and arrangements, you may notice that a lot of time is being spent on you by another coworker. This may just be because you’re good at what you do, but if it’s not for a work related reason, it’s probably because this person genuinely enjoys your company. We all have to make the most out of our workday, so we seek out those we enjoy – you are probably your coworkers favorite person in the building if you get most of their attention.
13. They seem jealous about small things
Jealousy is a natural part of relationships of any kind. It’s not even limited to romantic ones only. Though not exactly healthy, it’s natural to feel a sense of minor possessiveness or insecurity over someone you like, and this may manifest in jealousy over what you consider to be insignificant things. Did you go out for drinks with someone of the opposite sex after work? Even if only platonically, someone who likes you may react poorly, and surprise you. This indicates a crush!
14. They offer favors
At work, most people just want to put in their effort for what is expected of them, make that money, and go home. No one wants to worry about any extra effort or tasks, and sometimes, we can be very selfish at the workplace. If you have started to notice that a coworker is going the extra mile to do you favors or help you, it means they have taken an interest and have invested in your happiness or comfort. Being offered special treatment or favors is a pretty obvious clue they like you, especially if you’re the only one getting this privilege.
15. They ask if you’re going to work events
Does your coworker only show up to optional meetings, outings, and dinners if you’re there? If you notice them frequently checking your attendance to these gatherings, and only showing interest if you’ll be going… it’s probably because they are seeking out a way to spend more time with you. Their interest is less if you won’t be there, so this means they genuinely desire your company. Why else if not because of a crush?
When Should You Act On Your Feelings?
Did a specific coworker jump into your mind several times through the list of 15 ways you can identify a crush? If so, the chances are high they like you…. But the more pressing question is what you feel about them. What do you want to happen?
Consider the circumstances, and try to imagine what would happen if their feelings were real and known by the rest of the professional team. Decide how you feel for them, and decide your next move. If you’re uncomfortable by their crush, you should just ask them politely to back off at first, and escalate the problem if it grows.
However, if you like them back and the chemistry and attraction is mutual… you may be eager to dive right in and confess and jump into something solid with them. While this may be stress-free for some, it’s not always the case! Any big change in your work routine can have long-lasting effects, so make sure you think about your actions thoroughly and never be reckless.
Risks of Dating In The Workplace
Assuming you both have mutual romantic, or sexual, feelings for each other, a relationship of some sort is bound to blossom. Dating in the workplace can be rewarding for many reasons, but dangerous in others.
Some common risks of dating a coworker include:
- Violating company policy
- Losing your position or future promotion
- Creating tension with other coworkers
- Losing out on opportunities
- Being accused of favoritism
- Complicated, messy break-ups
The best way to navigate a coworker crush scenario is by taking it slow, communicating together, and considering all sides of the decision to date, either secretly or publically.
Knowing the difference between a friendly coworker and someone with a crush on you is a little tricky, but possible. By checking out the masterlist of 15 ways a crush can be discovered in a coworker, you can get a better understanding of how this person feels for you, and hopefully learn a little about how to make your own feelings known in return! Think you’re all set to confront the coworker on their feelings for you? Be careful and think about your next move. If a relationship does begin to blossom, make sure you know how to successfully make a relationship with a coworker last and stay healthy and strong!