Every new relationship has its ups and downs. It takes time to get to know someone really well, so you need to be patient and listen to what your partner has to say. However, if you are dating someone with PTSD, then this might come with some extra precautions, so make sure you know what you’re getting into and treat them respectfully just like you should in any relationship.
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What is PTSD?
PTSD stands for post-traumatic stress disorder, meaning that it can occur for anyone that has experienced or witnessed some type of traumatic event.
Common events that lead to PTSD are natural disasters, war, serious accidents, rape, or assault. However, this condition is not limited to only those specific events because it could really be caused by any type of event that was traumatic to that individual. PTSD is slightly different for everyone, and certain people might respond to it differently than others.
Events that lead to PTSD are natural disasters, war, serious accidents, rape, or assault. However, this condition is not limited to only those specific events because it could really be caused by any type of event that was traumatic to that individual. PTSD is slightly different for everyone, and certain people might respond to it differently than others.
How to Tell if Someone Has PTSD
Individuals with PTSD will often share some of the same symptoms and signs. Many of these indicators are not necessarily things that we can see, but they are things that the individual thinks or feels. Some common symptoms of PTSD are:
- Consistent flashbacks and intrusive thoughts about the event.
- Avoiding any people or places that remind them of the event.
- Difficulty sleeping or focusing.
- Increased negative thoughts and feelings.
- More outbursts of anger or irritation.
If you start to notice that someone close to you has developed some of these symptoms, then this could mean that they have PTSD. Some individuals may be in denial that they are suffering from this condition, but you should still be there for them and do what you can to help.
PTSD Related to Dating
While most people think of PTSD as related to military, natural disasters, abuse, or other large-scale events, it can actually commonly be caused by past relationships or romances. If someone has gone through any type of physical or emotional abuse in a past relationship, then this could greatly affect them and cause them to develop some of the symptoms listed above.
This type of PTSD can actually affect how this person behaves in future relationships too. They may be scared to trust again or they may constantly worry that these events will be repeated in a new relationship. If you notice that your partner is often skittish or nervous about moving the relationship forward or trusting you in certain scenarios, then they could just be reacting to a past trauma that occurred.
Need to Know About Dating Someone with PTSD
At first, dating someone with PTSD can be difficult, especially if they are reacting to how they were treated in a past relationship. It could cause them to be more distant or reserved toward you, even if they really are interested in you. It is important for you to understand this going into it. If you try to force them out of their comfort zone and make them face their fears too quickly, then this will only end up scaring them away. If you are interested in dating someone with PTSD, you need to be willing to be patient with them at first.
Some individuals may not want to talk about their trauma or they might not even realize that they have it. Therefore, if you suspect that they might have PTSD from a past relationship, keep an eye out for the indicators. Once your relationship gets more serious, then they will likely discuss the situation with you once they’re ready, but don’t force it out of them. When dating someone with PTSD, you need to be okay with them taking extra time to warm up to you. If you truly care about them, you need to give them respect and understanding so that they can learn to trust you better as time goes on.
7 Tips for Dating Someone with PTSD
If you’re dating someone with PTSD, then there are some things that you should know going into it. Understand that it could be different than other relationships, and be willing to compromise to help make them as comfortable as possible. However, don’t date them out of pity or act as if there is something wrong with them. Regardless of what someone has been through, they are still a person that should be treated respectfully. Only continue dating someone with PTSD if you know that you will truly be able to commit to them and give them what they deserve.
Communication is important for any relationship, but if you want your partner to be comfortable opening up to you, then you need to be able to effectively communicate with them in return. Just talk to them as you would in any other relationship and be honest with them. Over time, once they feel comfortable talking with you, their fears and concerns should come out naturally in conversation. However, if you don’t effectively communicate with them from the start, then it will only become more difficult for you to truly connect with them.
2. Learn the Triggers
When someone has PTSD, there will be certain things that could trigger their negative thoughts and emotions. Sometimes there will even be small actions that remind them of someone from their past. If they do not warn you about these triggers, then you will likely just have to figure them out the hard way. However, once you start to figure out the things that trigger their fears and anxiety, do what you can to avoid these actions to ensure that your partner does not need to be reminded of these traumatic events more than they have to be.
3. Don’t Be Forceful
It can be frustrating to not always know what’s going on with your partner. However, you should never force them to talk about their trauma if they don’t want to. Some events can be very difficult for a person to talk about, so you need to be understanding of this. Also, if there are certain things that they don’t want to do with you just yet, then there is likely a reason for it, so leave them be. Never force them to do or say anything that they don’t want to.
4. Always Stay Supportive
Even when you’re not sure what’s going on with your partner, you should continue to think positively and support them. Don’t blame them for being scared or cautious, but instead, let them know that it’s okay and that you will be there for them even through these difficult times. By being right there by their side through both good and bad times, then they will likely start to feel even more comfortable around you.
5. Don’t Take Things Personally
If your partner lashes out or behaves in a bizarre way toward you, it is important that you don’t take it too personally. Sometimes these actions are out of their control and they are just reacting to stress or bad memories. How they act and feel is not your fault, so don’t lash out at them in return. Just give them a moment to take a breath and calm down first, then you can attempt to talk about it with them if you wish. Just remember to stay calm and don’t do anything you’ll regret when they are acting out.
6. Let Them Come to You
As much as you likely want to know what happened in their past to cause them to feel this way, you should never force this information out of them. They will tell you when they’re ready. Putting extra pressure on them to tell you will only stress them out more, which could make the process take even longer. When they feel the time is right, let them come to you. The more pressure you put on them, the worse off they will be.
7. Give Them Space
Someone with PTSD may need more space than usual. They may need time to themselves to sort things out or some extra moments to think. If they request some time alone, don’t get angry or take it personally. It doesn’t mean that they don’t want to be around you, it just means that they need some extra time to collect their thoughts and catch their breath. Being around other people all the time can sometimes be exhausting, so they might just need some alone time to feel like themselves again.
If you do not feel okay with the tips above, then you probably shouldn’t be dating someone with complex PTSD. You need to be honest with them and only date them if you truly want to be with them. If you continue dating them because you feel bad or because you’re scared to hurt them, then you will only end up adding to their fears in the end when they find out the truth.
Just because you need to be more patient and understanding of people with PTSD does not mean that you should treat them like there’s something wrong with them. Dating someone with PTSD is just like dating anyone else, but you just need to remember to keep an eye out for any warning signs or triggers so that you can help them as effectively as possible.