In 2019, relationships can come in all sorts of different styles and flavors. Seriously, it’s a brand new world out there for so many of us! With the uprise of casual sex and casual dating, the question of monogamy has come up for several free-loving individuals.
Are we truly defined by one partner for life? If you’ve ever wondered what consensual non-monogamy is all about and how to get involved in polyamory, read on! We discuss and review the best poly dating sites and apps on the internet today!
Best Poly Dating Sites (Top 5)
Non-monogamy is in no way, shape, or form a new concept. From the ancient Greeks and Romans to more recent times, the imagery of open relationship and multi-partnered couples have existed, but it wasn’t until the past decade that the idea of poly dating become normalized. Now, you can see mentions of it sprinkled all across pop culture, from American Horror Story to popular hit songs.
With so many becoming curious about this open, free style of dating and commitment and seeing the benefits of this mindset, it’s gotten easier to immerse yourself into the lifestyle. With the help of online dating, it’s possible for anyone! Let’s look at the best websites to find poly dating, from couples to individuals, who share these morals and ideas of free love.
Match.com has something out there for everyone, and it’s worth signing up for. Since it’s the most popular and reliable dating app on the net, you’re bound to find at least a few like minded poly daters, and maybe connect with your next partner. It wasn’t designed specifically for open relationships, and it does tend to have a more monogamous voice, but the members are diverse and accepting.
- Simple design & navigation
- 6-month Match guarantee
- Thousands of members online at a time
- Location-based search and match methods
- Smart, advanced search functions
- Lots of variety within members
- “The Quiz” helps you create a stunning, well-written profile
- 7 dating-based multiplayer minigames
- Fairly high subscription price
- Requires more money for additional features, like MatchPhone
- Better on a website than a mobile device
- Slow customer support
Is It Scam-free:
Romance scams online through dating apps are a growing problem, and anyone can find themselves at risk. On Match, it’s far less likely to encounter a scammer, since these memberships are subscription based and the moderators check diligently for fake profiles. Match is scam-free and safe to use.
Following as a close second to Match is Zoosk, a similar but far more advanced dating website with nearly as many members and even more diversity. With over 40 million members, you’re bound to find a few poly people on there, at least. Plus, the website is constantly updating and adding new fun features to get you involved and connected with the right people.
- Younger, fresh member base
- Matches based on your behavior online
- Links directly to your Facebook for easy account creation
- Zoosk coins helps you get more visibility online
- Safe, reliable account verification
- Account creation + limited features are free to use
- It’s not free to access messaging and most of the features
- No spot to specify you want a poly relationship
- The search options aren’t as immersive
Is It Scam-free:
Since Zoosk gives you the option to sync with your other social media accounts and also hosts on-site verification, getting scammed on Zoosk is impossible. If you only interact with verified accounts that have their Facebook linked up, you’ll know for a fact everyone is exactly who they say they are. Plus, romance scammers don’t use paid dating sites very often as it is. Zoosk is scam-free!
The concept behind BeNaughty is mostly focused on casual sex and dating, looking at hookup culture more than longterm relationships. For several poly people, this is perfect! It’s very common for open poly couples to be committed to each other emotionally and romantically but want open doors for third-party sexual relationships. BeNaughty is designed to service that exactly.
- Everything on the site is sexy and flirty and very risque
- Excellent mobile app companion
- Free to sign-up
- Fully featured blog offers dating advice and tricks for success on their platform
- Tons of matching tools and advanced search options
- Lots of members looking for sex
- It’s a paid subscription to access features and messaging
- Not as popular as other sites, so a little less activity
- Not all members are verified, so it can feel risky at times
- Limited profile information, all visuals based
Is It Scam-free:
Profile verification isn’t enforced by the site, so not all members will be who they appear. Still, it’s a paid membership and it’s not dedicated to long term dating, so scammers will usually pass this site by when looking for targets. In general, it’s perfectly safe to use, just the rules for avoiding romance scams.
Let’s look at another mainstream dating site that isn’t specifically for poly couples, but has plenty to offer them. PoF members are innovative and open-minded and the website has a great community for kinksters and alternative lifestyles.
- Constantly growing memberbase
- Fun, interactive tools for matching and profile discovery
- Free to use
- Lots of ads
- No account verification
- You need to pay for the unlimited features
Is It Scam-free:
PoF doesn’t take as many measures to ensure the safety of its members for other users, but it’s considered scam-free for the most part. Some caution may need to be taken if you use this site though.
This website is far off the beaten path for mainstream dating sites, but it provides a great resource to a small, but growing, niche of people. If you only want to match with Poly people, sign up for this site!
- Open to all poly relationships types
- Inclusive of gender and sexuality
- Dedicated members
- 100% safety guarantee
- Active poly lifestyle blog
- Limited profile information and image upload options
- Less advanced when it comes to features than mainstream sites
- Smaller memberbase
Is It Scam-free:
Romance scams aren’t typically found on niche sites such as these, and the website claims to use every security measure possible to avoid this from happening. It’s a green light from us!
Best Poly Dating Apps (Top 3)
We are a mobile nation. If it can’t be accessed quickly and easily from our phones at a moment’s notice… we probably don’t want it. Plenty of online dating sites have mobile versions to offer members, but if you want the best ones, check out these three for your poly dating needs.
Being poly isn’t exactly a kink as much as it is a lifestyle, but it’s taboo enough to be considered a fetish, which is why FetLife is the best place to meet other poly daters! From couples to singles, poly people group together on the daring app, dedicated to supporting all types of fetishes and kinks. While BDSM is the most prominent fetish supported, there are hundreds of groups for Poly people as well.
- 2 million members online
- Huge social media aspect with several fetish groups
- Simply layout and easy navigation
- Sexy games and quizzes
- Black background is naughty and edgy
- Affordable and popular with kinksters
- $5 support fee is required
- Not as active as other popular dating apps and sites
- No account verification
- Limited profile options
- A little outdated and rarely modified
Is It Scam-free:
When using Fetlife, just be careful. Since it doesn’t put users through a vetting program, you can never be sure who you are talking to. There is no major scams reported from Fetlife, but frauds are always lurking. Never send money and always verify their identity before meeting up offline! Just use caution and you’ll be safe.
No other dating app or website can compare to what OkCupid offers. It’s definitely geared towards the more liberal, sexually ambiguous and open side of society, which is great for poly people. It has an open-minded approach to dating and it’s objectively the most successful and popular dating app out there, and the most reliable. It’s member demographic tends to be 30 or below, though.
- Huge questionnaire helps you match with only like minded people
- Extensive profile creation options allows you specify exactly who and what you want
- Sexual questions help you get a more personal, intimate view into members sexual preferences and lifestyles
- Poly support is incredible
- 100% free to use
- Tons of active members
- Transgender and homosexually inclusive
- Very specific political views
- More geared towards younger, unique people
- You have to pay for A-List features, including advanced search features
Is It Scam-free:
In general, OkCupid is safe to use. The popular dating app verifies accounts and deletes frauds or inactive profiles, and the users are genuine and upfront about their desires. Since it has a mostly 30 and below memberbase, a scammer is obvious from the get-go. It’s safely scam-free!
Out of all the dating websites and apps, Bumble is the most unique and interesting. It takes on a very new approach to dating, and it has a very strong presence of poly individuals and couples looking for others to connect with. The best part about Bumble? It continues to grow in popularity and utilizes a unique idea when it comes to conversation starters. Women must make the first move on the app, which means women are way more active online since they can have the control.
- Free to use for all the base features, including messaging
- Large, active user base with an open mind
- Simple, swipe-style matching method
- Location-based searching
- Fun tags are assigned your profile to indicate your star sign, relationship goals, and drinking habits
- You can use Bumble BFF for “just friends” matching
- Men can’t send the first message
- Profiles are a little limited
- No way to state you’re poly or search for only other poly people
- Very limited search features – age and location and gender only
Is It Scam-free: There has been no major stories of Bumble romance scams, and though you may encounter a few bots or catfish accounts, these are glaringly obvious from the start. You can sync up social media and music accounts, so it’s easy to weed out the genuine from the frauds. It’s safe to use and offers verification on accounts for additional security.
What is Polyamory Dating?
Polyamory (poly) is described as “the state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time”. To put it a little more simply, poly dating is when you are in committed relationships, sexual and romantic, with more than one person at a time. Now, this is a very loose umbrella idea of what being poly truly means, and just like monogamous couples, poly couples come in several variations.
Types of Poly Couples
No poly couple will be the same, and there are many different ways that open relationships can manifest. Poly dating for one person may mean casually dating 2 or 3 people at once outside of their committed long term relationship, or it may mean that a poly couple adopts in a third person. Relationships like the latter are called a triad; a relationship that is committed between 3 (or more) people who all date each other.
The more common type of poly dating is where members in a committed relationship, sometimes a married couple, also have relationships outside of that bond, but separately. It isn’t a triangle like a triad.
Other poly relationships may follow different trends and styles, but the core idea always remains the same. Poly dating refers to having more than one partner, either romantic or sexual or otherwise.
What You Need to Know about Poly Dating
If you are considering a poly lifestyle and want to give non-monogamy a shot, you should start small and work from there. Many emotions can cloud your judgement, from jealousy to insecurity, and it can be rough waters at first. Poly dating requires a very open mind and progressive thinking. That said… it just isn’t for everyone.
Many poly couples and individuals face animosity and cruel words, too. Triad couples have to go through the same “coming out” process as a homosexual person may have to face, and it isn’t always a walk in the park. These relationships take dedication, and a lot of trust.
Poly daters have a specific mindset. To them, exclusivity does not equal love. Monogamy does not equal commitment. Instead, they measure these virtues in other ways. In fact, poly couples tend to approach relationship problems in unique ways, and the modern society has started to see “toxic monogamy” in a new light, thanks to these progressive couples.
Is Polyamory Cheating?
This is the biggest question and concern that poly daters face. It can be asked in several forms, or even accusations. You may even be wondering yourself… if you’re poly, does that make you a cheater?
The answer is simple. No, it absolutely does not count as cheating. This is what makes poly different from adultery. It’s consensual. There is no lies or sneaking around, no hiding and no shame or guilt. Instead, a couple will talk beforehand, establish rules, and agree that this is an agreeable thing to do for either side. Once that permission has been granted and if the rules are followed, polyamory is nothing to be ashamed about.
Some people also believe that being poly is just some secret code for “avoiding commitment”. This, too, is also wrong. Just think about the level of trust and devotion one must have for their partner to open their minds, hearts, and home to an outsider.
This article looked over the major details of the best poly dating sites and apps on the web today. Poly dating is a unique take on dating. If it’s right for you, check out the dating sites covered in this article. Good luck!