You meet a very handsome guy at the coffee shop one Saturday morning. He’s carrying a briefcase full of papers and he has a very large cup of coffee on the table to keep him going. After several lattes and a very lengthy – but enjoyable – conversation you learn that he is a teacher, and you agree to meet up for a date.
You have never dated a teacher before so you hit the internet to learn about what you can expect when dating a teacher.
As it happens, there is a lot to know about dating a teacher. There are general things that all K-12 teachers have in common, and there are also things specific to high school teachers that will not apply to kindergarten teachers.
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Things To Know About Dating A Teacher
Everyone knows that teachers work hard, but what many people don’t realize just how hard they work on a daily basis, often at the expense of their free time and time spent with families. Their jobs are often rewarding and thankless at the same time as they put in long hours to help their kids even though it means more work for no extra money.
They spend time outside of class grading papers and planning lessons, and there are often school events that take up time in the evenings and on weekends.
On the other hand, teachers get to take all of the major holidays off and that means a couple of weeks off for Christmas, a week in the spring for spring break, a week off for Thanksgiving and a whole summer with no work.
There are things to consider when dating teachers in elementary, middle and high school. Elementary school teachers might not have the stressors that other teachers have, but they do have lots of school functions to attend in addition to parent-teacher conferences and training days.
Middle school teachers have a ton of stress as they deal with dozens (if not hundreds) of angsty adolescents who would rather be anywhere but in class. High school teachers have their own sets of considerations, including helping students prepare for college applications and that means more time spent outside of class.
If nothing else, patience is the name of the game when dating a teacher, but read on for a breakdown of the major pros and cons.
Pros of Dating a Teacher
Holiday and Vacation Time
Students love their vacation time, and so do teachers. Teachers start their days early and they often have to work late when you factor in after school activities. But they also get a lot of time off.
Teachers get all of the major holidays off, along with winter break (often two weeks) and spring break (a week) and sometimes even a week off for Thanksgiving. And let’s not forget those long hot summers!
If you love to travel, then dating a teacher could be a perfect match because there will be lots of time to get away from it all.
Teachers are known for their amazing compassion for others. They care so much about their kids and you can safely assume that their consideration and compassion will extend to significant others. They are the kind of people you want to bring home to meet your parents. Teachers will treat you with respect and they will place a very high value on your relationship because it is important to them.
…Often With A Wild Side
Teachers also love to let loose. They love a good time, and they will keep you on your toes because they spend all day with students. Adult time is important, and that means lots of fun dates and exciting weekends.
Teachers will also surprise you with their wild sides. They might be prim and proper by day, but they know how to enjoy themselves when they know they don’t have to worry about running into their students.
Teachers don’t become teachers by accident. It takes extra schooling and lots of certification, both initial and ongoing, to become a teacher. Good teachers never stop learning so that they can bring innovative ideas into their classrooms.
That dedication speaks volumes about teachers, and it says a lot about what you can expect in a relationship. While school will always be a major influence in their lives, they put an emphasis on family and generally want to have families of their own. They work with kids, after all.
Some professions are prone to having reputations for cheating, but teachers generally enjoy stable relationships and want to find their partner, making them very ideal dates.
Cons of Dating a Teacher
Grading and Lesson Plans
You don’t think about it when you’re in school, but all of the homework and tests need to be graded because they won’t grade themselves. Teachers spend lots of time outside of class grading homework and tests. If you’re dating an English teacher then be prepared for stacks of papers and long nights of grading.
The same goes with lesson planning. Even when a school has a lesson plan schedule, there is still preparation required and that usually happens over the weekend ahead of the school week or the night before. Or both.
When report cards are due, expect a mad rush of last minute grading ahead of the deadline because there are always things that are left to the last minute that need to be graded.
While grading and creating lesson plans are a normal part of a teacher’s life, it can make afternoon and evening plans challenging because teaching is a job where taking work home is absolutely necessary and there will be times when the grading trumps binge watching the latest Netflix series.
Teachers get called upon to chaperone school sporting events and dances, and there are open houses and college nights, too. When high school seniors start thinking about college applications, they are called upon to write letters of recommendation and that means more things to keep them busy at night.
If you are the kind of person who wants his partner home in the evenings, keep in mind that teachers have a lot of events that could cause them to get home late.
Work Follows Them Everywhere
Teachers are very public figures. Don’t be surprised if she’s not on social media because the last thing she needs is to have her students checking her out on her beach vacation back in college.
Being a teacher means connecting with people’s lives inside and outside of the classroom. You could be shopping in a grocery store and run into parents and their kids on the weekend. Don’t be surprised if the parents want to chat openly about little Timmy’s struggles with math because that will absolutely happen.
By extension, your teacher partner might ask you to not post or tag him or her in your own social media. Kids can find things out, including the names of significant others, and soon you might find that your Instagram stories are a pipeline for his students to dig up dirt on him – and you.
They Worry Because They Care
Good teachers watch out for their students and will do anything to help them. If your teacher partner comes home after a rough day, expect that stress to come home as well. While you’re watching a movie, he might be glassy-eyed and distracted as he ponders a student issue and what he can do to help.
This shouldn’t be perceived as a bad thing, because as we mentioned teachers wouldn’t worry if they didn’t care. So if he is distracted by problems at work, expect that his stress will carry over to the homefront as well.
It’s absolutely true that teachers get a lot of time off. Sure, it’s unpaid and that can be challenging, but despite so much vacation time it is hard to control a teacher’s schedule. Teachers have to call for a substitute when they miss work, so taking a spontaneous three day weekend isn’t in the cards.
Generally, teachers will take their vacations during school breaks and that means sticking to the schedule, which means you will need to adjust your plans to fit into the school calendar. It also means taking vacation time at peak season, which can be unfortunate when it comes to the price of hotels and airfare since you won’t be able to take advantage of off-season pricing.
The Bottom Line
Obviously it is impossible to judge someone based entirely on their profession, but understanding the demands of their job can help to prepare you for what life could be like in a relationship.
When it comes to dating a teacher, it is all about sharing. You will have to miss date nights and birthdays when he or she has to work. Then again, if your birthday lands over the summer then you’re in luck because your teacher significant other will almost always have it off.
(Unless he is teaching summer school, which means the school year will roll into the summer months) Teachers are known for being very special people with huge hearts. They love what they do and they want to make a difference. It’s why they become teachers.
When you date a teacher you’re dating both the individual and their classroom because they will always be thinking about work. That dedication is admirable and it’s part of the reason why teachers are great partners.