For countless men and women, dating a pornstar is the stuff of dreams. After all, a pornstar makes a living having sex on camera. Think of what he or she can do in bed!
The reality is that dating a pornstar isn’t that much different than dating a celebrity. Sure, they are famous in their own right, but they’re only human. Most pornstars keep their work lives and personal lives separate so that they have some boundaries, but they still have to contend with being recognized.
Naturally, most pornstars have no problem being recognized in public for their work, but it can be problematic when they’re in everyday life situations like going to parent-teacher meetings or having a plumber over at their house. Once it’s out there, you can’t escape it.
Being recognized when you don’t want to be is why it can be tough to date a pornstar. In theory it is the most amazing thing in the world, and in reality it has very unique challenges when you enter into a serious relationship and start introducing her to your friends and family.
Real life problems aside, there will always be a thrill associated with dating a pornstar. It’s an adventure every single day. Here are some things to help you make the best of your new relationship.
Things To Know when Dating a Pornstar
Pornstars are normal people with very unusual jobs. They are very open about sex and sexuality because that’s their job, but that doesn’t mean that they flaunt it publicly. In fact, it stands to reason that pornstars like to keep work life and private life separate.
The word “pornstar” might not be their choice descriptor, either. They might prefer adult film star, or adult entertainer.
Pros of Dating a Pornstar
Good In Bed
Though they generally enjoy keeping their work and personal lives separate, that doesn’t mean that won’t use the tools of the trade in bed with you. When you’re dating a pornstar, don’t be surprised if you’re having the best sex of your life. He will know where to kiss you, what to say and when to say it. You’ll be turned on with a look.
At least, that’s what we want to think, right? (Psst, it’s probably true!)
There’s no denying that in order to be good at being a pornstar, you have to own the performance and that means lots of practice, so you can imagine that your sex life will never be the same when dating a pornstar.
There is also the matter of there not being taboos with your pornstar partner. Things that you’ve never been able to experience are suddenly possibly because he or she has probably done them already. If you’re looking to broaden your sexual identity, being with a pornstar is the way to go.
The Thrill Of It
You’re dating a pornstar and that means you’re dating someone who knows all the right moves in bed. You also get to tell your friends that you’re dating a pornstar. For guys, it’s like a dream come true. For the girls, you’re dating a cover model. This in itself is thrilling.
Once you clue in your friends, you’ll be the subject of a lot of questions. Everyone will want to know what it’s like. Being the center of attention can be thrilling, too, and it’s very likely that your partner will enjoy it as well. (But always check to make sure it’s okay, because some pornstars like to keep things separate)
Traditionally, pornstars lead very interesting lives. Before the days of Porn Hub and You Porn when amateurs could upload videos, porn was something that came out of the adult film industry. It was an elite group of men and women who gained cult followings from their work.
In order to capture the moment, production takes place in exotic locations. After all, no one wants to see someone’s dingy bedroom or plastic patio furniture. Expensive houses and hotels are rented for use as sets. Fancy cars are obtained. The best porn films look expensive so as to be attractive to the audience.
For your pornstar partner, this means going to interesting places for work. They might fly to a snowy locale for a cabin in the woods scene, or they may film on a private beach. But no matter what, it’s never just another day at the office.
You’re Dating a Pornstar
Let’s face it: Being able to say that you’re dating a pornstar will make you an instant hit with your friends. While you might not want to bring that little tidbit up at work (or maybe you do!), you’ll want to shout it from the rooftops because not everyone has a chance to date a pornstar. That’s just reality.
Between bragging rights and adventures between the sheets, your relationship is very unique and it can make you feel like you’re on Cloud 9.
Meeting The Family
Even if you have the most understanding family in the world, bringing home a pornstar is not going to be easy. It doesn’t matter how much money she makes or how many degrees she holds, it doesn’t make introducing her to your mother any easier.
When you decide to take your relationship with a pornstar to the next level, that means you have to come clean about what your partner does for a living. This can be particularly troubling when you have a very religious family, or if you have older relatives or even when it comes time to introduce your new partner to your kids if you have them.
Everyone Has Seen The Goods
Dating a pornstar also presents a certain awkwardness. Anyone who has ever seen your significant other’s movies knows every intimate detail of your partner. There are no secrets. That means your little brother or your Uncle Scott could have seen your girlfriend in action in one of her movies, and that is something that takes some getting used to.
For some people, it’s like dating a celebrity. Nude scenes are a normal part of Hollywood and even theater. (Heck, even some operas feature nudity!)
However, if you’re a private person then it can be taxing to know that your friends and family may have seen your partner naked. It only has to happen once for things to become very awkward, and even if your friends and family are okay with it, it could make your partner uncomfortable.
Wrong Kind of Sharing
There are some pornstars that bare all for the cameras, but when it comes to their loves scenes they’re not actually having intercourse with their acting partner. It’s all a matter of noises, camera angles and acting.
However, some pornstars are indeed having sex on camera. This is a lot different than sharing a kiss with a costar. This is actual sex. Your partner will have had sex with other people and that can make relationships incredibly awkward.
There’s also the possibility of sexually transmitted diseases as a result of unprotected sex or a broken condom. While precautions are always taken, STDs are a big risk for adult film stars. Your partner might be clean, but one accident can put your health at risk and that’s something to think about.
Knowing what she’s doing at work is hard enough. Wondering if she’s thinking about you or enjoying being with someone else while doing the deed is entirely different. This isn’t even jealousy, this is just the byproduct of an overactive imagination and trying to have a normal relationship in a very extraordinary situation.
While we’re talking about it, though, jealousy is a very real problem when dating a pornstar. Your partner will be naked and having sex on camera with other beautiful people in beautiful and exotic locations. Even if your relationship is airtight, that doesn’t mean you might not feel jealous of the life she leads.
She’s making great money and she has a crew of people who make sure she has everything she needs. She might have lucrative sponsorships, too. You might start to feel jealous that you have to go to a normal nine to five job while she’s out there getting paid to have sex with people. It can be tough to accept.
The Bottom Line
There are two truths about dating a pornstar: They are normal people, and they have sex (or at least fake sex) for a living. A lot of what we think we know about pornstars is based on assumptions, rumors and guessed based on what we imagine to be their lifestyle. Until you ask the questions, you won’t know for sure.
You should never make assumptions about what your pornstar partner is comfortable with. Make sure you are having open and honest conversations about what your partner is comfortable with so you don’t cross any lines or offend him or her because your opinion is based on a guess.
You should also be prepared for experiencing things you have never experienced before. If you aren’t comfortable with talking about sex openly, then make sure you communicate that to your partner so that you aren’t uncomfortable in her social circles, where that might be a common occurrence.
So long as you are talking with your partner, and you both are on the same page about expectations and realities, then you should be able to sit back and enjoy the experience. After all, you’re dating a pornstar!