Anxiety. The infamous elephant in the room that, although most experience, none really ever speak about. Whether it’s due to fear of others mocking your legitimate feelings, or feeling as though no one else will ever understand its debilitating nature, it is one of the most silent battles to be waged mentally by many.
Although it is an undeniable illness, society has created an unwelcoming place for poor mental health that may make those with anxiety feel invalidated. This is why most never seek help when help is needed the most, and this results in life’s most common situations becoming progressively difficult.
Relationships are a difficult feat for everyone, but those with anxiety disorders have a more challenging time expressing their thoughts and feelings in a way that makes them comfortable enough around others, especially on a relationship level. If you are someone who cannot take their eyes off of the girl with anxiety, are willing to look past the person that anxiety makes her out to be, and are able to see her in all of her beauty for who she truly is, you may find no other comparable experience in life.
Here, we will give you plenty of insight on what she is truly struggling with, the easy and the difficult parts of dating a girl with anxiety, and the most effective ways to handle her mental turmoil; a window into her mind, if you will. Are you ready?
What Having Anxiety Is Really Like
Having anxiety is a complicated endeavor all on its own, but attempting to carry out your everyday life with this mental illness can be extremely debilitating. At times, you may feel weightless and at ease, as if the illness is finally over and that you can begin to enjoy living again. But on other occasions, it is the ball-and-chain clung to your ankle, following behind you to create a battle out of every simple thing she attempts to do. Anxiety is far from imaginary, and is a harsh reality for many.
Although anxiety itself is not an illness that can be seen with the naked eye, it can accompany a varying pattern of symptoms that one may be able to witness and/or experience in the event of its onset. Physical indications of an anxiety disorder may consist of hyperventilating (breathing heavily and/or rapidly), gastrointestinal problems such as stomach cramping or vomiting, excessive perspiration, trouble falling or staying asleep (insomnia), increased heart rate and/or heart palpitations, and trembling. While such physical complications of anxiety certainly contribute to what makes it so disabling, some of the most excruciating parts of this illness is the war that the afflicted wage mentally.
Anxiety can compose a magnitude of self-destructive thoughts and irrational fears. From deciding that every situation will result in its worst-case scenario, to uncontrollably perceiving everything as a threat to you and your loved ones wellbeing and finding it nearly impossible to simply relax, it all can be extremely exhausting and takes a colossal amount of patience to persevere.
Pros Of Dating A Girl With Anxiety
When it comes to being with the girl who struggles with anxiety, you are also with a girl who will continuously aim to be the absolute best form of herself, despite always internally battling her faults and flaws. She may find herself breaking down about the seemingly smallest situations, but she will always pick herself back up. Her ability to create elegance out of tragedy will show you that she is the role-model that you never knew you’d desire so much in your life and, if you promise to be her rock on unsteady waters, she will love you with her most powerful tides.
The girl with anxiety will be the girl who will go to infinitely great lengths to show how much she truly cares for everyone who surrounds her in her life, and she will show you an appreciation for your existence in her life like you’ve never felt before, as everything she attempts with and for you will be accomplished with nothing less than a fiery passion in her eyes, even when her anxiety will try to cloud them.
Cons Of Dating A Girl With Anxiety
It takes the most energetic, raging storms to create the most beautiful sunsets and, in order to enjoy her during her psychological ecstacy, it will take your patience as she conquers her blue devils. Her anxiety will blindfold her judgement, and create the feeling that even the smallest of things seem catastrophic. Whether it be as simple as washing the dishes or doing the laundry, she will become overwhelmed easily and, in turn, overwhelm you with her extreme emotions and scattered thoughts. Unfortunately, it will be difficult to talk her out of these feelings, and no matter how many times you may express that, “everything is okay,” nothing about this seemingly insurmountable storm will feel okay for her until she finds her strength to calm down, and it is crucial to her that you do whatever it takes for you to remain as her serenity until the storm passes.
She will acknowledge your attempts to rationalize her thoughts what she fears most, but unfortunately will never feel truly comforted, as she knows you could never fathom how her mind makes her feel as though she is held captive, like a prisoner to her thoughts. Her head will hold onto your ability to love her and your strength to remain sensitive to her, and will remind her as she crawls out of the hellish flames that her courage to do so will be followed by a pair of arms welcoming her back to reality.
5 Secret Tricks To Win Them Over
While there’s really no way to “win over” an anxious being, as they are often skeptical of one’s attempts to break down their emotional walls and grow attached, there are some things that you can do to provide her with mental relief. Your willingness to help may alert her at first, but with consistency comes trust, and she may let her guard down and welcome the growth of a relationship. Here are five things you can do to alleviate some of her mental pain.
1. Help separate her from her avoidance behavior.
The longer she procrastinates whatever tasks she needs to accomplish, the more likely she is to become anxious about them later. It is important to break her cycle as early and as often as possible, without being intrusive. Talk her through whatever she needs to carry out first. Establishing the beginning of the task may be helpful in removing her from her avoidant thoughts.
2. Assist her in seeking help.
If she is not already seeking professional help for her anxious behavior, it is vital that you help her begin that journey. There are only so many things that you can do to aid her with her mental struggles. You are not a professional, and she should not solely look to you for advice as such. Whatever form of assistance she may need, whether it be medication, treatment, or therapy, it is important that she is receiving some form of professional relief before pursuing a relationship.
If she is receiving treatment from a professional, invite her to communicate with you what she is learning during her journey, and asking her about anxiety management methods that may be providing improvement for her. Being proactive in her treatment not only will make her feel more comfortable talking about her mental illness, but may also provide you with some insight on what she is struggling with without overwhelming her with questions, and in turn prepare you for anything she may need from you in the future.
3. Destigmatize her understanding of anxiety.
She may feel a form of embarrassment or weakness about her anxiety, and fear that her symptoms may present themselves as visible to you in any situation with you around. Communicate with her that, should the symptoms arise, you will do whatever is within your ability to help her come out of it, and that you do not see her as a weak individual.
Chances are, even if you have never experienced anxiety itself, you have experienced anxious thoughts, such as fearing presenting something in school or at work, or being told no in response to asking for something you truly want or need. Normalizing any anxious thoughts that you are able to relate to may be a big relief for her, and allow her to be more open with you when she is experiences those types of intrusive thoughts.
4. Educate yourself on her form of anxiety.
Taking the time to further educate yourself on what she is going through would be beneficial not only for her, but also for you. Learning about common triggers and what thoughts may come with those triggers can help better prepare you for any future anxiety attacks she may have.
You may also find resources on strategies that could be helpful in being proactive about her anxiety, like certain breathing techniques or forms of exercise suitable for this disorder. If she watches you take action in helping her anxiety, she may become more motivated to take control of her anxiety as well.
5. Distract her from her thoughts.
Whether you make reservations for the two of you away from home, or decide to stay home and enjoy each other’s company, it is important to make concrete plans as early and as often as possible. She may never communicate to you how helpful it truly is, but she will appreciate your ability to find genuine time to spend with her and protect her from her anxious thoughts.
How To Handle Dating a Girl With Anxiety
Anxiety will accompany her as an entity that devises mistrust and embarrassment in the relationship, so it is important to know how welcome it with the best of your ability. Remaining open-minded is absolutely crucial not only for her, but also for yourself as you enter a relationship with anxiety.
Rather than abandoning her when she is finding herself nervous and beginning to question aspects of the relationship or her life in general, create a reassuring sensitivity to the situation and allow her to communicate with you her distress. Remind yourself that she loves and appreciates you enough in her life to fear the thought of losing you, and that a connection like so to someone who is battling anxiety is metamorphic.
Keep in mind that anxiety does not remedy itself instantaneously, and realize that in order for her to have patience with herself, she also needs you to have patience with her. She may be struggling, but she is doing what she sees herself capable of doing to improve her mental health. Showing support will move mountains in her mind, as she can trust your emotional presence for shelter when her negative thoughts begin to pour.
When she has found the strength to determine what provokes her mental battles, she may also realize that some battles require waging alone. If she is asking for space, she is asking in a sympathetic manor, as she realizes that it is beneficial for both of you if she does this on her own. Don’t attempt to hasten things by trying to rationalize her thoughts or “solve” her problems. Simply trust her process, give her the space that she wishes for, and be open for communication once she returns.
Ready To Make A Move?
The heart wants what it wants, and you should never hesitate on something (or someone) you’re passionate about. Your desires may prove to be your greatest pleasures, if you’re willing to wage hell and high waters for them. Allowing her into your life will humble you with experiences you could’ve never imagined, and you will find yourself craving more, as her love is a form of love much deeper than you’ve ever known before. You will watch her in awe, wondering how on Earth such an eminent amount of beauty could experience so much pain.
The girl with anxiety is not delicate, but rather a warrior. She is not the calm before the storm, but the eye itself. She is bulletproof, unstoppable, victorious, and she is the girl that will make an outstanding difference in your life if you give her the chance.