Did you know that there are specific tips for men when dating a black woman? Whether this is your first date with a black woman or you’ve been dating them for quite some time already, knowing these useful tips will help ensure a successful date.
As you all know, dating can be a business that is tricky. Some men may even have a hard time thinking about where to meet or what to wear. Numerous questions are popping into your mind while preparing for that date. Some men even think about things after the date, which can be because of anxiety. But whatever the reason is for those thoughts, it would be nice to know some answers.
I have collected some of the usual questions that men have in mind whenever they are going on a date. These all can serve as tips so you can ensure that you will end the date positively. Plus, who knows, you might even score a second date.
Dating A Black Woman: Tips You Should Know
It Can Be Intimidating
Yes, let’s just all admit it and accept the fact that dating a black woman can be intimidating. Maybe not everyone can get intimidated, but if you are someone who has issues in the past, including your self-image, self-confidence, and insecurities, then leave that all behind. A black woman needs her man to have an inner game that is pretty solid. Another reason why men, white men, in particular, get intimidated is that they feel like they need to compete with black men. The truth is, you don’t have to. If she agreed to date you, that means merely that he is interested in you and not some black man.
Feeling intimidated is fine, you need to accept this kind of feeling. But don’t dwell on it too much, as this will only ruin the date. She will also see you as someone who is weak, and you surely don’t want that to happen.
Of course, being honest should always be on top of your priority. You still need to be realistic not only about yourself but your feelings as well. Majority of black women who are in their 30s to 40s said that honesty is what makes perfect men. Being honest means being open about your real intentions. For instance, if you are just looking for a companion or let alone, a hookup, then you should be honest about this. Of course, if you are looking for someone with whom you want to be with for a long time, then you should also be honest. In this way, both of you will know if the feeling is mutual.
Everyone wants to laugh and to make your black woman laugh the best thing that you can. Make her laugh and make sure that the date will turn out fun and fine. Sense of humor is your ticket to her heart. Having a sense of humor can help you get a woman’s entire attention. Always remember that it is not all about the money or your status in life. Having a sense of humor is also an important trait.
It’s Not About Money
Black women don’t care about your money or any of your properties. They can very much support themselves on their own. To avoid being too flashy, because it will be a huge turn-off. The best thing that you can do is to impress them with your character and patience. Always put in mind that money can be gone, but your characteristics will stay for a lifetime.
Give Them Freedom
As mentioned above, black women are independent. This means that giving them the freedom that they need is beneficial. They always love it when their men provide them with space. Avoid controlling this kind of women, as this can only cause problems and such. By giving her the freedom that she needs, you will be giving her the time to be refreshed and to refocus her life. If you try to control her, you might end up pushing her away.
One of the things that black women and women from other races hate is a man who does self-pity. Some men will try to play the victim, telling their stories about their past relationships. They will start telling you how sorry they are for themselves for experiencing that kind of problems. Black women don’t need to hear these things. Be in control of your emotions and act like a desperate man. Show her that you can man up and be the man of her dreams.
Show Her The Real You
Now, as mentioned earlier. It would be best, to be honest, and typically, honesty is not all about being true to her. It is also about being true to yourself. Avoid pretending to be someone that you are not. Show her the real you, and if she accepts you for you, then there won’t be any problem at all.
Lastly, consistency is the key to every successful relationship. Black women love consistency just like any other race does. Be consistent in everything that you do and everything that you say. Always remember that news can travel very fast. And the moment she finds out about your secrets that can ruin the relationship, then her guards will be up. You will surely have a hard time earning her trust again. Worse, you may not even get that trust back.
In case you haven’t figured this out yet, first impressions are always essential in every date. So it would be best to wear something nice on your dates. Your outfit for the date will give a long lasting impression so ensuring that you are well dressed would be best. Of course, you don’t have to wear a tuxedo on the first date. But showing that you shaved and showered would be enough. Preparing your physical appearance up to your outfit would be best, to make yourself look presentable. Once you have achieved this, all you have to worry next is to turn up on time.
Plan the Date
You need to plan the date on your own, especially during the first date. You need to bring her somewhere comfortable. The place should be suitable for you and your date. The reason why you’re the one who needs to plan everything is that a black woman would like to see that you have the ability to take control. Plus, it would be nice to meet in a place that you are both familiar with. This will both help you to feel comfortable.
Just a heads up, it would be best to avoid places where you and your friends hang out. As their presence may distract you, in case, they are in the same place as you are. You surely don’t want to get distracted while you are on a date.
Black women like it when their men are confident with themselves. If you are someone who is a little timid, then it would be best to practice being not before the date. You can start by doing small talks with other people. Also, it would be best for you to know some of the topics that you are enthusiastic about so you have something to talk about. Show her your confidence by talking about that subject enthusiastically. If you don’t have the body of someone who is like that of a bodybuilder, it actually won’t matter. What will matter is that you are comfortable and happy with who you are.
Let Her Talk
Of course, it would be wise to not show too much confidence by talking nonstop. Let your date talk, and if you are going to comment, you can keep it concise and short. Talking too much might bore your date, and you surely don’t want that to happen. Now once the topic has run down, you can ask specific questions that are date related. Just always make sure not listen to whatever she is saying. This will show her that you are interested in her.
Keep It Fun
You need to keep the date and the conversation fun. Avoid talking about topics that are negative and are depressing. The topics should be light-hearted and not about how you hate waking up early in the morning to go to the job that you don’t like. Whatever issues you have, you need to keep it to yourself, especially on the first date. Black women and women, in general, like it when the guy can make them genuinely laugh and ask questions that are appropriate. Of course, you need to be serious at times especially if required.
No Talking About The ‘Ex”
It will be wise to not talk about the ex of neither of you. This is one of the topics that are not good to talk about. By all means, it would be best to stay away from any conversations involving your ex or her ex. But if she brings up the topic, then you can just keep your answers short. Sometimes, women brought this up to ensure that you have already moved on. The best thing that you can do is to reassure her that you are a hundred percent sure that you have already moved on.
While you are on a date, it would be best to turn your phone off or at least put it on silent. You are on a date, and you don’t want to annoy her with your phone ringing nonstop. If possible, turning the phone off completely would be best. This will surely help avoid any distractions whatsoever. Your date will surely appreciate it that you are talking to her and taking the time to get to know her with your full attention.
Always Offer to Pay
Lastly, even if it is already the 21st Century, it still is a nice gesture to offer to pay the bill. Women will offer to pay for their share, but it would be best to turn that down. But if she is persistent, you can just tell her that she can pay the bill on the next date.
These are all of the tips for men when dating a black woman.
Yes, being nervous is normal but don’t let that consume you. Relax and enjoy your date.