The internet is the new ‘town square’. We shop, learn, trade, laugh, create, sell, and keep track of current events online. All of this has led to one major problem: How do we bump into one another? You could, in theory, meet someone on eBay or an open forum site, but the chances are very slim at best. Your chances are even slimmer regarding the realm of romance on a site like this, or even Facebook for that matter. Enter Tinder! Apps like Tinder were created to help spark that romance connection that happenstance used to control.
The popular dating platforms are flooded with beautiful women, and let’s be real, very average men. If you are a man seeking a woman on a dating site, you are familiar with this ‘flooded market’ problem. How do you stand out? What do you say to these beautiful women to stand a chance?
If the answers to these questions still elude you, look no further! Here are some tips and methods to help you to stand out in the flood of ordinary men seeking the attention of a beautiful woman! These best Tinder openers are sure to get a response from that girl you so badly want to talk to, and who knows? They might even land you a date.
Before we get to the list, let’s cover some major “No no’s”.
What NOT to Say Right Out of the Gate on Tinder
- Hi, Hello, Hey there… Opening with a lame one or two-word phrase like “hey there” is a quick way to get ignored. It is not clever. It does not stand out. Already you would be expecting her to carry the conversation. Treat her like a lady! Don’t expect her to do all of the work!
- You’re hot! As tempting as it might be to complement your dream girl about her body, I promise, you won’t be the first… or the last. Women are so accustomed to being itemized and complimented because of their looks in today’s world. Women are, frankly, tired of it. The quickest way to go from handsome to a pig in the eyes of a lady is to allude to the things that you want to do to her. Eew!
- *Insert cheese-ball pick-up line here* Okay, so maybe it works sometimes. The point is, again, that it has been done before. Although something like “Hi! I’m chance. Do I have one?” might be a little bit funny, she has probably heard it before. After a line like this, then what?
Okay. Now it is time for the good stuff! What SHOULD you say to keep that beautiful lady’s interest?
Best Tinder Openers: Top Picks
- Ask her a question. Remember not to expect her to do all of the work. Starting off with a question will let her respond with an answer without having to do the legwork to keep it interesting. This, of course, works best when the question is about her. Make her feel important and considered. Avoid talking about yourself. If she is interested in you, she will talk about you. Lastly, keep it interesting. A question like “How are you?” is a lame and fast way to get ignored. Try something like: “Work is finished for the week. You have a thousand dollars. What kind of fun awaits you?”
- If you must use a cheesy pick-up line, lead it with a GIF. Tinder released a study that they conducted that proved that conversations that were started with a GIF both had a response rate that was increased by 30% and a conversation that had twice as long of a duration. For the sake of simplicity, this means that you will be 30% more likely to get a response and that if you do, the conversation is likely to last twice as long. Also, don’t forget to make sure and throw a question in there to make it easy for her!
- If you are one of the many people that feels that you must compliment her appearance or her body, it is still a bad idea. To curb your impulsion, try tying in different compliments with, yes (you guessed it) a question. It is important to make her feel valued. When you compliment her, however, be sure not to say something that you do not know. For instance, you would not want to compliment her on her sense of humor if she had yet to say anything. Try something like, “You seem smart and interesting! What is your most off-the-wall hobby?”
- Although asking, “How was work?” or “How is your weekend going?” would technically fall into the realm of questions with room for response, they are still boring. Asking about her weekend plans or how her day at work was are both good ideas. Maybe try, however, to put a creative spin on it. Try questions like, “Did you conquer your day like a superhero?” or “With the weekend on the horizon, where do you see yourself in the next two days?”.
- When creativity and ‘swagger’ do not feel accessible, the tried and true ‘random approach’ is always a good choice. Remember though, a question is a best-proven opener. If you cannot think of anything to say, lead with something like, “Soup, salad, or candy bar?” or the classic, “If you had to choose a celebrity to go for a walk with, who would it be?”.
Things to Remember, Tips, and Tricks
With the number of people utilizing dating apps like Tinder, it is critical that you exude confidence while tempering it with humility. The women that use these sites are accustomed to the run-of-the-mill openers. If you do not stand out or if you open with something less than respectful, odds are that she will wait for a more interesting conversation to come along.
Guide the Conversation!
Remember, also, that you must leave ‘room’ for a response. If the women on Tinder responded to every drab or boring remark that came along, they would not have any time left in the day. Make response easy and naturally available. If you do the work to direct the conversation, it will be easy for her to respond naturally. Do not make her have to think too hard or formulate an elegant story for you.
Avoid Pressuring Her!
If your opener does not work, do not lose heart, but also do not overwhelm her. It is easy to come across as ‘creepy’ or inconsiderate if you do not take ‘no’ for an answer. Count your losses and move on. It is also possible that you will receive a response that is late or that takes a long time, after all, women have lives too. One follow-up message is totally acceptable, but you will have to amp up the creativity factor.
There IS a Prime Time to Swipe!
Another good tip to consider is that, according to several studies, there is a ‘peak usage time’ for the app. Most activity occurs between 5 pm and midnight. The best chances that you have for engaging in a stimulating conversation will be if you can catch her while she is online. A live exchange is much more likely to elicit a meaningful connection. This is why the best time to use the app is while everyone else is too. You will get the best results if you look for that girl of your dreams between 5 pm and midnight.
Funny is ‘Money’!
Humor helps to build attraction. If you give her the chance to associate you with happy feelings, she is more likely to make the effort to develop a rapport with you. The same goes for compliments and happy things in general. Give her the opportunity to associate you with lightheartedness.
Read Your Audience!
The last important thing to consider is the age group that you wish to interact with. If you are in your 20’s and looking for a girl in her 20’s, she is most likely looking for something casual. In this case, don’t pressure her. Play it cool. If, however, you are looking for a woman in her 30’s or 40’s, it is more likely that she is looking for something a little more serious. State your intentions on your profile.
Do not be afraid to admit that you are okay with commitment. It is a better idea to be honest. Try not to set yourself, or your beautiful dream-girl up for disappointment. Whatever you do, remember that you are dealing with real live humans. Everyone deserves respect. This goes for you too. If you lead with disrespect or uninteresting conversation, that is likely what you will receive in return.
Hopefully, now, you are equipped with the arsenal that you need to woo the pretty ladies with these best Tinder openers. Be careful though since Tinder scams are very common. Get out there and keep it kind. Happy swiping!