Tired of sending (and receiving) the same basic, generic online dating match messages? If you’ve fallen into the trap of lost inspiration when it comes to breaking the ice on dating apps and websites, it’s time to refresh your arsenal of openers, conversation starters, and topics to discuss. Luckily, these top 8 best ice breakers for online dating will make it an easy feat!
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Top 8 Best Ice Breakers To Try When You Get Online
As easy as it is to comment on the weather or play it safe with a classic compliment, there are far better ways to go about opening a conversation, and deepening it. Getting the ball rolling is tough, especially in the beginning, but these 8 unusual ice breakers will get you in their messages and hopefully keep you there!
1. Pick Something From Their Bio
The best way to get ignored when you hit someone up is by being generic, and as unkind as it may sound, boring. No one wants to struggle to reply to a simple “Hi” or “What’s up?” message. If you want to crack that ice good, you need to put in some effort, and customize your message to each match, if you have several you’re messaging.
Start by actually reading their profile. I know, what a surprise, right? They put effort into putting themselves, and relevant information, out there so it’s up to you to take the time to look it over. As you’re reading it, take note of the things that are mentioned, either hobbies or maybe past experiences, and lead into the conversation by referencing back to what they wrote.
This is best done when you’re able to find something that gives the two of you common ground, because it instantly will break the ice and open a doorway for a great conversation. A good example of this is by bringing up a shared interest. Did their bio claim your match is an avid Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings fan? Throw in your hat by letting them know you also love fantasy genres!
2. Give a Unique Compliment
If there was a guide out there to the ultimate compliment, I think everyone would be reading it, and everyone would have something to learn. As nice as it is to hear we have pretty eyes or a nice smile, the best compliments shouldn’t be aimed at what we can’t change… but instead, the things we have chosen.
Sounds confusing, right? Think of it this way. Complimenting someone’s eyes is nice, but that person really has no say over what their eyes look like. If you were to instead compliment their hairstyle, their dress, or their makeup, you’re noticing something that they actively put effort into. It brings a little extra “reward” to the table, and the recipient of the complement will feel amazing, and remember it for far longer.
When online dating, look deeper than just the pretty eyes and dimples. Let them know that you like their changeable qualities, such as their shirt or their sharp eyeliner skills. If you’re not sure what to compliment, just pick one of their photos uploaded to the account, and tell them you really love how they look in the shot. It’s much more personal and genuine!
3. Try Out A Cute GIF
Most popular dating apps will have the modern addition of sending gifs to one another. Tinder is a great example of this feature, but it’s a little less common on lesser known, or professional, dating sites. This little trick may not be capable for everyone, in that case, but if you’re using a platform like Facebook or even iMessage and some Android systems, gifs will be available to you!
Using a gif is a cute, non-verbal way to get a point across while making use of pop culture, media, and existing humor. In other words, it takes some of the pressure off of you to be clever and charming from the first line. Sometimes, a cute dog waving or a funny sitcom scene in gif form is more than acceptable to catch someone’s eye, and it can help between lulls in the conversation, too.
If you don’t have a gif keyboard downloaded for your phone, it may be time to hit up the app store and verse yourself of gifs, memes, and other cute, funny little ways to help visually carry a conversation.
4. Open Up With a Joke
Though pickup lines can be cheesy and pretty off-putting, leading in with a catchy joke that maybe relates to something on their profile could be a great way to get the ball rolling in the right direction. On the Tinder subreddit, users post some of their successful (and not so successful) occurrences on the popular dating app and some of the results are hilarious and inspiring!
Puns are a pretty reliable way to catch someone’s attention, and gain a laugh under your belt, if you can think up one that isn’t too overdone or offensive. A play on words including your match’s name, or maybe a joke you know about something in their bio, can help tie in more than one suggestion on this list and skyrocket your chances of success at cracking the top layer of ice.
Just be sure you don’t rely on your humor too much! You don’t want to be too much of a laugh that you prevent the conversation from moving into a personal tone. Staying on a funny, light track is great for breaking the ice in the beginning, but it’s hard to bring out anything real with full-time joking.
5. Ask About Their Pets
You really can never go wrong with cuddly friends. Since most people include pictures of their furry companions in their online dating profiles anyway, you already have a solid starting point to go off of, and who doesn’t like talking about their fur baby? In some cases, you may come across a match who doesn’t have a pet, but that doesn’t mean the story ends there.
Asking about current, past, or future pets is a fun way to bond. Plus, it opens up a good segway into asking for a date. Maybe you two could hit up a dog park with your pooches or go to a shelter to window shop for your next kitty. Either way, you opened up the door to something, and got the two of you talking!
Pets are also a very innocent, light topic. Swapping funny, mischievous stories or recounting memories of when our babies were small are how a lot of actual parents bond, so if you don’t have kids, this is a great alternative.
6. Ask For Their “Top 5” Of Something
Does your match like movies, cooking, reading, or playing video games? Everyone has hobbies, usually several, and most of the time you can find some listed on their profile. Getting a conversation really going by stimulating the brain and finding some common ground can be done easily by implementing the easy “top 5” method.
To do this, simply choose a hobby you know your match is interested in. If it’s literature related, ask your match for their Top 5 Favorite authors. If your match enjoys cooking, ask about their Top 5 Favorite things to cook, and so on. They’ll come back with a basic list, and you can work your way up from there. Perhaps you both share a favorite director or video game, and suddenly you’re bonding over that shared interest.
It also gives you a chance to naturally talk about yourself, too, and provide relevant information. Knowing the top 5 favorite of each other’s hobbies is a great ice breaker, and it’s light enough to work for everyone!
7. Play A Quirky Word Game
There are many ways to get your online dating match to open up to you, but one of the easiest and most fun ways can be to introduce the idea of an easy ice breaker game. Some of these are a bit harder, but there are lots of quirky little “get to know you” exercises that can be done right over a chat messenger on a dating profile.
A few games to consider suggesting are:
- 2 Truths, 1 Lie. Though typically a drinking game, a modified version can be played with two people on a dating app. Simply take turns stating 3 things about yourself, two which are true and one is false. The other player, your match online, will then have to guess which of the 3 statements is deceitful.
- 21 Questions. By taking turns, you and your match come up with unique questions and answer them for each other. This doesn’t necessarily have to be limited to 21 questions only, but instead just take inspiration from the guessing game. Make sure you both ask a different question than what has already been asked, and up the stakes by implementing a limited amount of “skips” a person can use.
- Would You Rather? This game is as old as time, and pretty reliable. It has the potential to get racy, in a good way, or stay innocent without being too heavy. Simply come up with different scenarios and take turns asking your match which circumstance they’d prefer. Example: Would you rather be a fairy, or a mermaid?
- Truth or Dare. Whenever a daring game is suggested, a person’s mind may drift quickly towards the sexual side of online dating. Use discretion when suggesting this juvenile game, and do so only if you’re trying to direct a conversation into a sexy light. Dares over a phone could consist of photographing your match doing silly things, calling, or any other long-distance action you can think of.
Not all of this may work with your personality, but there are more options out there, and most of these games are harmless and innocent enough that your match will play along for a little while. Getting the two of you chatting and moving past the awkward floundering for conversations is made really easy with this method!
Plus, when it comes to your next conversation, you’ve learned enough about your match to know what questions to ask or what topics to bring up. It’s a great way to get a jumpstart at knowing about them, which is just as important as any other aspect of online dating.
8. Talk About Your Star Signs
Many people are into Astrology, especially if it’s listed on their profile like many apps do now. Connecting on a cosmic level about the potential compatibility or unique traits your star sign combinations have could be a fun way to break the ice and get things moving to a more personal conversation!
While not everyone is big into Astrology, most people know the basics of their sun sign, and can at least appreciate your good eye for noticing. It’s a bit mysterious and a bit fun, which makes it a perfect light conversation starter that also helps you get a feel for who they are as a person. Plus, for those who are into Astrology, be it yourself or your match, it’s a great way to bond over a shared interest and take guidance from the stars about your chance of success together.
Some Common Question
Some effective ice breakers include asking about their interests or hobbies, complimenting something specific in their profile, or sharing a funny or interesting anecdote about yourself. The key is to start with something light and engaging.
It’s generally better to avoid cheesy or overly rehearsed pickup lines. Instead, opt for genuine and personalized conversation starters. Pickup lines can often come across as insincere and may not lead to meaningful conversations.
To stand out, tailor your ice breaker to the person’s profile. Mention something unique you noticed about them, show genuine interest, and ask open-ended questions. Being yourself and showing authenticity is more appealing than trying to be overly clever.
It’s best to avoid ice breakers that are overly personal or invasive, as well as anything that could be seen as disrespectful or offensive. Stay away from overly explicit or sexual content in your initial messages, as it can make others uncomfortable.
If you want to break the ice and get someone to open up to you, it’s important you do your best to be engaging, intuitive, and unique in your approach. Your end goal is to stand out from the crowd by bringing something interesting to the conversation, but also finding topics and ice breakers that are relevant enough to carry a conversation. The best ice breaker is one that can last for future conversations, because it brings out lots of information about your online dating match that you can mentally file away to use later. These 8 surprisingly easy yet charming ice breaker tricks and tips will help you have smoother conversations and deeper connections with your online dating matches, so next time you boot up the old profile, use one or two of these on your next new match!